Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

In Italy, arguably the birthplace of romance (if you don't count Topeka) the locals have embraced the latest trend in sexuality with uninhibited enthusiasm. And I'm not talking about polyamory or shaving your armpits, I'm talking about life-like sex dolls. In fact, the city of Turin is home to Italy's first-ever sex doll brothel, and it is already fully booked for weeks in advance.

LumiDolls, Italy's first-ever sex doll brothel, is home to six female silicone dolls and one male. Men and women are offered a "totally new" experience in private rooms, each equipped with a bed, bathroom and TV for watching porn.

Customers can choose which doll they want to reserve, decide what it should be wearing and even what position they want the doll in. This last option is important as the dolls are unable to stand or move on their own.

The models each have different skin tones, and hair and eye colors. The male doll even has an interchangeable penis in case the client might want something a little more 'substantial'.

The management says clients are coming from up to 250 miles away and paying 100 Euro an hour to romp with the silicone cuties. There are even group rates.

Well, I guess it's cheaper than buying one yourself, since some of the more realistic silicone 'love' dolls can cost close to one thousand dollars.

So the LumiDolls are not quite sex robots, but apparently for the Italians they are a good enough step in the right direction.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com





Over 1,000 Illigal American Immigrants Invade Canada
People were enjoying the annual 'Port Huron Float Down' on the American side of the St. Clair River recently, with people in dinghies, rafts and inner tubes, when a change in the wind made them inadvertently invade Canada. An annual event in Michigan turned into a cross-border headache when winds pushed 1,500 Americans on floatation devices from the US side of the St. Clair River into Canada. Hit with a burst of rain and wind, the Americans washed ashore in Sarnia, Ontario. Sarnia Police, the Canadian Coast Guard on the Great Lakes and the Canadian Red Cross quickly came to the rescue, plucking people out of the water. The Canadian Coast Guard was less amused with the inadvertent invasion. "The Port Huron Float Down event has no official organizer and poses significant and unusual hazards given the fast-moving current," said Carol Launderville, spokesperson for the Canadian Coast Guard on the Great Lakes in a statement. The Americans were taken back to the US side on Sarnia buses.

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*------------ How's That for Luck? -------------*
A man in Pennsylvania cut down his neighbor's tree because he thought it was dripping sap on his car. The tree ended up hitting his own apartment house. Police said Raymond Mazzarella grabbed a chainsaw and cut down the tree in his neighbor's yard. The tree sat in his neighbor's yard, but it had branches above his parking space. Those branches would drip sap onto his car. When he cut through the 36-inch wide trunk, the tree fell onto part of his own apartment building. Police said a neighbor saw Mazzarella trespassing near the apartment house and called police. When the neighbor confronted him, Mazzarella punched him. The neighbor pulled out a stun gun to protect himself. Mazzarella then started hitting him with a baseball bat. Mazzarella is charged with assault and harassment. Authorities had to condemn the apartment building and five people have to find new places to stay.




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I thought it was pretty obvious that the right shoe bandit has only one leg. -Aussie Andrew


Lewis, I think you're right. This right shoe business is obviously a political message. You know, Hitler was a leftie...


A 24-foot-tall, glow-in-the-dark, fully functional bong? Sheesh, why suck on it? It sounds like you can just stand in it. Hey... I think I just got a brilliant idea.

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