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Monday, August 27, 2018

Good morning crew,

I'm not too embarrassed to admit that my stump removal experiment failed miserably. Once I examined the line I had stored in the garage I knew it wouldn't work. It is half inch polypropylene fiber rope, not much better than clothesline, and what I really needed was 1 1/2 inch, at least. Or a chain better yet.

But, in the spirit of experimentation I tied a double length of the stuff to the stump and attached it to the trailer hitch of my truck with a number of 'granny' knots.

I had the wife record the event in case anything bizarre happened.

Predictably, all I had to do was take my foot off of the brake peddal before that line snapped with an audible POP. I barely touched the gas. The stump didn't budge a millimeter.

Fortunately the whole project didn't take more than ten minutes, so I didn't feel too put out.

But I am still faced with the problem of an unsightly and inconvenient stump right on the side of the house where everybody can see it and I can't just put a bucket over it and ignore it.

That means I'm going to have to remove it the old fashioned way, by digging it out, and that means I have to buy an axe.

To be perfectly honest, I've always wanted an axe, but I've never really had a reason to buy one. I don't know, it just feels good to have an axe around the house. And now that I will finally have one I can start making plans to build that log cabin I've been wanting. Just like Dick Proenneke.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Pope Francis is now telling married couples to have children, because only having pets could lead to anger or bitterness in old age. As opposed to having kids, which leads to anger AND bitterness in old age." -Jimmy Fallon

***

"A family cleaning out their grandparents' attic in Florida found a wooden box containing a mummified pirate's hand on a map with gold coins. A treasure chest full of gold pirate coins may be cool, but do you know what I have in my attic? Family heirlooms and pictures of all my loved ones - and isn't that the real treasure? No, no it isn't. The real treasure is a treasure chest full of gold pirate coins." -James Corden

***

"According to a list by 'Business Insider,' Washington University in St. Louis is the college with the best food. While the college with the worst food is the Olive Garden's culinary institute." -Seth Meyers

***

Dewey was having a lot of difficulty in French class. To encourage him, his teacher said, "You'll know you're really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in French."

Dewey ran into class all excited one day, saying, "Teacher, teacher! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking in French!"

"Great!" said the teacher; "what were they saying?"

"I don't know," Dewey replied; "I couldn't understand a word of it."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

Needing to look up a phone number while at a friend's house, my teenage daughter asked for a phone book. She might as well have asked for a papyrus scroll.

"A phone book?" asked her friend.

"You know," said my daughter. "A book with numbers in it."

"Oh," said her friend as it dawned on her. "You mean a math book."

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