Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

People do strange things when they're lonely. They turn to alcohol, drugs, prostitutes, and in the case of the men in today's story; farm animals.

Responding to a tip, police began investigating a makeshift farm in a small rural town about 130 miles north east of Pittsburgh. What they uncovered was disturbing to say the least.

The three men, Terry Wallace, 40, Matthew Brubaker, 32, and Marc Measnikoff, 34, face more than 1,000 charges each of abuse of the animals.

According to the police investigation, the men have been having 'orgies' with the animals on the so-called farm for up to five years. [I'm beginning to think the 'tip' the cops received was a noise complaint.]

District attorney Bill Shaw commented, "This is an unpleasant topic, but the facts are that we received a report of folks having sexual intercourse with animals, farm animals."

The men are accused of having sexual relations with at least nine female horses, a cow, a goat, and dogs.

A teenage boy was also present at the home and was reportedly used to hold the animals during the sex sessions and they are set to be additionally charged with endangering the welfare of a child, and the corruption of a minor.

They face misdemeanours including 1,460 counts of sexual intercourse with an animal, and 1,460 counts of cruelty to animals. The men are being held on $100,000 bail.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com




* Water Skiing Team Breaks Human Pyramid Record *
A Wisconsin water skiing team borrowed members from two other teams to form an 80-person human pyramid on the water. The Rock Aqua Jays said team members, along with members of the Aquanuts and Webfooters water skiing teams, formed an 80-person human pyramid on the water in Janesville and the group held together for a distance of 1,148 feet, beating the 656-foot distance required by Guinness World Records. The team said they took an initial run with 70 people, beating the previous Guinness record of 64 people, before beating their own record with 10 more people. Rock Aqua Jays spokesman Kevin Ostermeier said documentation from the event has been submitted to Guinness and the team expects their record to certified in about two weeks.

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*------ Russia's New 'Walking Army Robot' ------*
Yes, 'Robotech' is finally here. And it's Russian. Everybody who thought it would be the Japanese, you lose. Russia unveiled the four and-a-half ton robot at the Army 2018 Fair just outside Moscow, as a 'demonstration of what is to come.' The robot can walk and has space in a cabin for people to sit and operate the robot from inside and can hold and move objects with its claws, including weapons. The pilot would be protected from bullets and other dangers behind armored glass and metal. The robot is still under construction and the creators do not wish to reveal all its capabilities until they have it finished.




*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*
I for one applaud these new, more accommodating regulations. I am looking forward to bringing my emotional support falcon onboard my next Southwest flight.


Lewis, I don't get the connection between being pissed off at a 'No Trespassing' sign and taking your clothes off. Then again, I've never really been that drunk. Am I missing out on something (other than a lot of naked titties, apparently)?


Lou, when are you going to break the story that Donald Trump is really a space alien masquerading as the president in order to destroy the country?
[I'm still working on that same story about President Obama.]

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