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THE DAILY GROANER - August 20, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

Lewis, of Bizarre News, and I were discussing the topic of Emotional Support Animals. According to an article that Lewis read, and I neglected to, Southwest Airlines has a new policy to allow miniature horses aboard
flights as service animals. Why? Is Southwest Airlines holding a state fair at 30,000 feet!

Now I get that some folks need help. People with impaired vision have seeing eye dogs or guide dogs to help them along and keep them safe, but what the hell is horse gonna do on a flight, besides make a mess and stink up the joint?

If you need a miniature horse to travel across the country then just ride the little guy to your desired destination. And with people so concerned with the welfare of animals let's take a minute to consider the My Little Pony in seat 8G.
Do you think for a second that a horse of any size wants to gallop onto an aircraft for any reason? How do you think that animal is going to deal with the change in cabin pressure? He ain't chewing gum, that's for sure!

Remember when a crying baby was the worst thing on a flight? Now you'll have to eat a complimentary bag of oats when they run out of peanuts. The over head bin will be full of hay. The flight attendants have to walk around with a shovel. Where does it end?

No disrespect to service animals or those that need their assistance, but a horse? I firmly believe that if you need to any kind of animal that is a petting zoo favorite with you to fly, then maybe you should just stay home and use
that Skype or the Facetime that all the kids are talking about. Remember, it's an airplane, not a wagon train.

Groaningly yours,

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*-- My Grades --*

A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed.

"What's the matter, son," asked his mother.

"Aw, gee," said the boy, "It's my marks. They're all wet."

"What do you mean 'all wet?'"

"I mean," he replied, "below C-level."

*-- Rules of A Plumber --*

The four most important things that an apprentice plumber needs to learn:

1. Hot is on the left, cold is on the right.

2. Crap flows downhill.

3. Payday is on Friday.

4. Don't chew your fingernails.

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What did one plate say to the other plate?

A: Dinner's on me tonight!

Q: Where did the spaghetti go to dance?

A: The meat ball!


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