THE DAILY GROANER - August 15, 2018
Good Morning Groanies,
We had our company picnic last weekend and boy oh boy, was it a lot of fun!
We played bean bags, shared some laughs, ate until we couldn't stand under our own power, it was just the best time.
Stacy, Jack, and Sean had fun, too. Jack made a new friend and really enjoyed himself. His only complain was that he wasn't too fond of all of the weeds in and around the playground area. While some of the kids were off searching for four leaf clovers, Jack was hard at work picking and pulling weeds.
During his struggle with a particularly stubborn weed Jack asked, "Hey, how's in charge of taking care of this place?"
I told him that I wasn't sure. He responded, "Well, they need to get on it! There are weeds everywhere!" That's my boy. Asking tough questions and looking for the answers that go with them.
I should turn him loose in my yard. We got weeds for days. Get pulling, boy! Earn your keep!
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives
Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve
*-- Was He Dead? --*
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner.
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.
*-- The Smartest Dog --*
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while.
"I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."
"Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you get when you cross a wolf with a ceramicist?
A: A hairy potter.
Q: What does the gorilla call his girlfriend?
A: His prime mate.
Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives