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Thursday, July 26, 2018

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I saw an interesting article today which said that a small farm in North Carolina is looking for people to cuddle with their baby goats.

The farm is raising therapeutic goats for goat meditation and goat yoga.

Most farm-raised goats are separated from their mothers at birth and raised to be used for milk and meat, but the kids (that's baby goats to you and me) at this farm are nurtured alongside their mothers and socialized with humans, in order to create the intimate bond necessary for goat yoga, apparently.

As the farm continues to grow, they're in ever increasing need of more people to spend time interacting with and cuddling the farm's baby goats.

I guess this kind of pastime would appeal to the more, ummm, sensitive types, but I don't think I'd want to cuddle with anything I'm prepared to eat. With the exception of my wife, of course.

And probably the single mom who lives at the end of my street.

I wouldn't think 'goat yoga' would be that popular, but judging from the quote by Jimmy Fallon in today's issue, the current trade war has created a huge overstock of domestic meat. I guess we've got to do something with it.



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"Thanks to Trump's trade policies, the U.S. now has a giant stockpile of meat. On the bright side, 'giant stockpile of meat' is also a great nickname for Tinder." -Jimmy Fallon

Life Lesson

BEFORE SEX: You help each other get naked.

AFTER SEX: You get dressed by yourself.

Moral of the story: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.

"According to a new report, Republican staffers in Washington are having trouble meeting people on dating apps because they're being harassed for their political views. According to some Republican staffers, they are getting harassed so much on dating apps they're now starting to feel like every woman on every dating app." -James Corden

Little Johnny was late for class, and when he saw that the door was already closed, he opened it and went into the classroom tentatively. He very quietly shut the door and tiptoed to his seat hoping not to get the teacher after him.

This upset the teacher, who said him, "Johnny, is this how your father would have come in--late and sneaking to his seat? Go out and try it again!"

So, Little Johnny left the room and shut the door behind him quietly, as he'd come in.

Then a moment later, he flung open the door with a bang and stomped back into the room with a lit cigarette dangling from his lips. He slammed the door behind him, put his cigarette out on the carpet with his foot and said, "So Honey, didn't expect ME, did ya?"