Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

THE DAILY GROANER - July 23, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

It was your typical Friday in the office and the topic of discussion was bras.

TZ said that he didn't understand why the clasps on those contraptions have to be so complicated to undo. He believes that it was just another way for women to mess with the minds of men and their "magic fingers". Okay?

I'm not so worried about it because I stole a female mannequin from a department store 12 years ago and from then on I've been honing my skills as a bra removal technician. There's a union with dental and everything.

Hey, it was either that or putting one on my own body and attempting to remove it. I think I made the wise choice... right?

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- We Were The First... --*

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

*-- Whatcha Doin? --*

One day Timmy was in his backyard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decided to investigate. "Whatcha doin?" he asked.

"My goldfish died and I'm burying him," Timmy replied.

"That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain't it?" asked the neighbor.

"That's because he's inside your cat!"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What happened when the wheel was invented?

A: It caused a revolution.

Q: Why did the teacher carry birdseed?

A: For the parrot Teacher conference.


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