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Saturday, July 7, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

It is now a few days after Independence Day and the drunk fireworks stories are starting to come out. This one comes from Lakeland, Florida where a video was recorded the night of July 4th of a man who thought alcohol would make him immune to explosions as well as regret. He was wrong on both counts.

Jonathan Soto, 35, of Lakeland suffered injuries on his left hand and his chest after he grabbed a mortar-style firework and waited for it to explode. The firework blew up in his hand and EMS was called to the scene at approximately 10:40 p.m.

Alcohol appears to be a factor in the incident, as a surveillance camera that captured the moment the firework exploded in Soto's hand seems to show him holding a beer in the other.

Soto was treated for his injuries.

Another incident was a bit more dramatic. An Ohio man seems to have blown his car up, while he was inside of it, when he failed to throw a lit firework out of the window.

Keshawn Rivers was severely burned when the fireworks exploded inside his car.

Dayton police detectives continue to investigate the incident, saying they are awaiting the results of a lab analysis for confirmation that the explosion was caused by fireworks, the police report said.

It's too early in the investigation to determine what Rivers was doing in the car just before the explosion occurred or if he was impaired in any way, the release said. But detectives are still evaluating evidence and statements related to this case, and they are considering criminal charges, according to the release.


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*-- An Early Birthday Gift From Pablo Escobar --*

A Florida man fishing off the state's coast pulled in his weedline and made an unexpected but oddly appropriate discovery -- a brick of marijuana. Jorge Bustamante posted photos online showing the approximately 2-pound package of marijuana he reeled in from the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Pompano Beach. Bustamante said the package had become hooked on his weedline, which he had been using to try to catch some mahi-mahi and kingfish. Bustamante and his fishing companions radioed the U.S. Coast Guard, which took custody of the pot package. The post joked the marijuana was an "early birthday gift from Pablo Escobar."


*----------- Dad "Breastfeeds" Baby ------------*

A father is making headlines over photos showing him breastfeeding his newborn daughter at the hospital. Maxamillian Neubauer of Wisconsin posted photos and a video of himself breastfeeding his daughter and they went viral. Neubauer explained that his wife had complications after birth. After undergoing an emergency Cesarean section, she was taken to the ICU. His wife April had expressed her wishes of giving their baby skin to skin contact immediately after the birth. Since she was unable to do so, Maxamillian stepped in. Cybil Martin-Dennehy, a registered nurse at Door County Medical Center, offered the father a chance to breastfeed the baby and he agreed to try it once. The nurse fitted the father with a plastic nipple shield, a feeding tube, a syringe, and some formula. She placed the nipple shield on the father's chest and the formula dripped into it as the baby sucked. April said that she is very grateful to her husband for stepping in and taking over her role when she wasn't able to do it.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

I suppose after almost losing her finger we can cut Melissa some slack, but wanted to point out that 'just a blonde doing a stupid thing' is redundant.

I'm curious as to what led to the woman being topless and feeling she needed to use the construction vehicle to get into her apartment. Im guessing drugs and/or alcohol were involved. -Chris
[Well, what USUALLY leads to a woman being topless?]

Feeding a shark by hand. What could go wrong? She looked blonde in the video. -Scott

Maybe The Tunguska Event was a warning, Lewis. A "You're about to push me too far" kind of statement.
[If it WAS a warning... it failed miserably.]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*