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Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Good morning crew,

Because we had such a lousy April I didn't get around to planting any vegetables until the end of May. I almost didn't bother with it at all, except I stumbled across some real deals when the wife dragged me to our local farmers' market last month. I got an entire tray of assorted seedlings for 15 bucks.

I wasn't expecting anything out of them until August, at least, but boy are they erupting. I might even have something ripe enough to harvest by July Fourth.

I know one is a cherry tomato plant, but the others are a variety of peppers and I'm not sure what they are. It'll be a little like Russian Roulette popping a pepper in my mouth not knowing if it is a Poblano or a Jalapeno.

Well, I'm not afraid of a little adventure. What is life if you're not willing to take a few risks?

Laugh it up,


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"New York's State Assembly is considering a new bill that would legalize alcoholic ice cream. 'That's great news,' said a five-year-old having a rough day. 'Just a little something to take the edge off, Ma.'" -Seth Meyers


"Starbucks just announced that they're closing 150 stores due to low sales. Meanwhile, the Starbucks inside Barnes & Noble was like, 'Shhh - I think they forgot about us.'" -Jimmy Fallon


"In Virginia recently, a computer crash wiped out a decade's worth of U.S. military data. However, this morning, the Chinese government called and said no problem, we backed it up." -Conan O'Brien


A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotherapist's office and declares, "Doctor, I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I broke that trust and had an affair! The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it ever happened!"

The hypnotherapist shakes his head and says. "Not again..."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go."

"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked.

"I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground" he answered.

"But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked.

The man quickly answered. "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."