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Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Good morning crew,

You know, when I was a kid all I used to fantasize about was girls. When I got older I finally met a girl who could tolerate me.

Then I used to fantasize about motorcycles. And girls.

In time I got myself a motorcycle, and then I started to fantasize about boats. And girls.

Eventually I got the boat, too.

These days the only thing I think about anymore is all of the money I threw away on motorcycles, boats and women.

Laugh it up,


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"It was 90 degrees in New York City today. Yeah, you know it's bad when you get that dirty gust of wind from the subway and you go, 'Aaahh!'" -Jimmy Fallon


"An Ohio man was recently arrested after attacking his roommate with a rolling pin. And I find it amazing that two male roommates actually owned a rolling pin." -Seth Meyers


"Researchers are developing a stay-sober pill that will prevent you from getting drunk off of alcohol. It's perfect for the drinker who wants all the calories of alcohol but none of the fun." -Conan O'Brien


A pretty young blonde stood at the bank cashier's window and smiled. "I'd like to cash this check, please," she said, handing it over.

The teller examined the check and said: "Could you identify yourself, Miss?"

For a moment the lovely girl's brow creased over, then with a bright look she fumbled in her handbag and producing a mirror, glanced in it and with relief said, "Yes! It's me, all right!"

The clerk said, "No Ma'am, you misunderstood me. We require a photo identification."

The girl searched her bag again and found a picture with a group of people. "This is a recent family photo," she explained. "That's me, third from the left."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

If the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything:

Stamps - Lickie Stickie
Defibrillators - Hearty Starty
Bumble bees - Fuzzy Buzzy
Pregnancy test - Maybe Baby
Bra - Breasty Nestie
Fork - Stabby Grabby
Socks - Feetie Heatie
Hippo - Floatie Bloatie
Nightmare - Screamy Dreamy