Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Good morning crew,

You know, when I was a kid all I used to fantasize about was girls. When I got older I finally met a girl who could tolerate me.

Then I used to fantasize about motorcycles. And girls.

In time I got myself a motorcycle, and then I started to fantasize about boats. And girls.

Eventually I got the boat, too.

These days the only thing I think about anymore is all of the money I threw away on motorcycles, boats and women.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives




"It was 90 degrees in New York City today. Yeah, you know it's bad when you get that dirty gust of wind from the subway and you go, 'Aaahh!'" -Jimmy Fallon

***
"An Ohio man was recently arrested after attacking his roommate with a rolling pin. And I find it amazing that two male roommates actually owned a rolling pin." -Seth Meyers

***
"Researchers are developing a stay-sober pill that will prevent you from getting drunk off of alcohol. It's perfect for the drinker who wants all the calories of alcohol but none of the fun." -Conan O'Brien

***
A pretty young blonde stood at the bank cashier's window and smiled. "I'd like to cash this check, please," she said, handing it over.

The teller examined the check and said: "Could you identify yourself, Miss?"

For a moment the lovely girl's brow creased over, then with a bright look she fumbled in her handbag and producing a mirror, glanced in it and with relief said, "Yes! It's me, all right!"

The clerk said, "No Ma'am, you misunderstood me. We require a photo identification."

The girl searched her bag again and found a picture with a group of people. "This is a recent family photo," she explained. "That's me, third from the left."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
If the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything:

Stamps - Lickie Stickie
Defibrillators - Hearty Starty
Bumble bees - Fuzzy Buzzy
Pregnancy test - Maybe Baby
Bra - Breasty Nestie
Fork - Stabby Grabby
Socks - Feetie Heatie
Hippo - Floatie Bloatie
Nightmare - Screamy Dreamy