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Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

While this is one of the more despicable crimes a person could come up with, you have to appreciate the ingenuity.

So what is the biggest risk in a robbery? Getting caught, of course. Especially if you get caught by someone packing a firearm, like a police officer or one pissed off homeowner who does not appreciate the fact that you just used a crowbar to force open his $400 premium 4-panel steel security door with shatter-resistant frosted glass and are now standing in his living room holding his Xbox One.

The obvious solution is to make sure that no one is going to be wherever you are planning to rob. But how? This woman came up with a way to rob people while ensuring that they will not be home at the time.

Police in New York began looking for a thief who targeted people while they were mourning the loss of their loved ones. Several people in Westchester County filed reports on different occasions after returning home from funerals and finding that their homes were burglarized.

In a rather morbid sting operation, Greenburgh Police waited outside the home of someone who died in Tarrytown until they caught 26-year-old Latonia Stewart from the Bronx trying to enter. Officers found items that was stolen from a home in Irvington in her vehicle. Police said that Stewart looked through obituaries to pick her targets, knowing exactly when they would be out of their homes.

She was arrested on multiple burglary-related charges.


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*------- Porn Shoot Heats Up Fire Station ------*

Two Akron, OH Fire Department firefighters, Arthur Dean and Deann Eller are on paid leave pending an investigation into allegations that they created pornographic videos in an Akron fire station. According to Chief Tucker, the station received an anonymous tip that the pornographic material was online. The firefighters were placed on administrative leave immediately following the findings. Akron Mayor Dan Horrigan and Fire Chief Clarence Tucker released the following statement: "Allegations involving two City of Akron firefighters recently came to the attention of the City. The allegations relate to the creation of pornographic content displayed online – some of which is alleged to have taken place on City property. The City is actively conducting an investigation into the allegations, and we will take prompt and appropriate action based on the results of that investigation. The two employees were immediately placed on administrative leave pursuant to their union agreement, pending the investigation. The employees involved are not assigned to work at the same fire station and were known to be in a long-term relationship."


*----- I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won -----*

A Mississippi man is accused of beating a neighbor with a hammer and an ax handle for hiring someone else to mow their lawn. The Greenwood Commonwealth reports 39-year-old Brad Gentry had been paid to mow his neighbor's lawn but stopped halfway through and left. Sheriff Ricky Banks says the neighbor, Ray Farris, then went and got someone else to finish the task. Banks says Gentry came back angry and "beat the hell out of the man and took $40 off of him." Gentry is charged with armed robbery and aggravated assault for the attack. Banks says Farris drove himself to the hospital despite being struck in the head multiple times. The extent of his injuries is unknown.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Do you know how expensive those custom pipes are? I find it a little unbelievable that the owner did not ask her to pay for the damages. Unless she 'paid' him in some other way. Guys usually aren't that forgiving about their trucks.

'Spider-Coon'? Really? That was the best headline you could come up with? You're slipping Lewis.

A drunk girl forced herself into a guy's tailpipe in the parking lot at a music festival? Funny, usually it's the other way around.

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*