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Monday, June 18, 2018

Good morning crew,

I couldn't stand blowing the entire weekend without doing any work on the garage. So Saturday morning I got up around 7:30 to get in a couple hours of painting before the day really started to heat up.

But I could only work in the shadows. The direct sunlight was still too hot. I also used the same strategy Sunday afternoon, working on the east side of the building after the worst of the heat was over, around 6 p.m.

Unfortunately, the garage now has an odd, sort of patchwork look. To be perfectly honest it looks like a psychotic person, or maybe someone with severe attention deficit disorder has been working on it.

Which isn't too far from the truth.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new study has found that people who run marathons have less arthritis than non-runners. Responded non-runners: 'This. This is why no one wants to hang out with you.'" -Seth Meyers

***

"Applebee's is offering $1 Long Island iced teas for the entire month of June. So if someone tells you they just spent $20 at Applebee's, get them to a hospital." -Jimmy Fallon

***

"A clothing company is going to release a $99 wedding dress. The $99 wedding dress is the perfect way to tell your man, 'I do, I guess.'" -Conan O'Brien

***

A FEW SIMPLE RULES FOR HAPPY LIVING:

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.

If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Daily thought: Some people are like Slinkies...not really good for much but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

A young city boy visiting a dude ranch wanted to be appear macho, so he went out walking with one of the hired hands.

As they were walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried to begin a conversation, "Say, isn't that fine-looking bunch of cows over there."

The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch,' it's 'herd.'"

"Heard what?"

"Herd of cows."

"Sure, I've heard of cows!" finished the city boy excitedly, "there's a big bunch of 'em right over there."