Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Good morning crew,

It happened again. We got babies! Right around the time momma duck was making her nest in the backyard, sometime in early April, the wife and I saw a rabbit digging around the back fence.

While the dog tolerated the duck fairly well, she would not suffer that rabbit. She's fluffy and white, but Mini must have a hunter in her family tree somewhere, maybe a beagle or a terrier, because the sight of that rabbit sent her into a frenzy.

Thanks to Mini's vigilance we never saw that rabbit again, that is until last weekend. I saw her creeping around the back fence, and when I went to investigate what did I find but a burrow with at least three, maybe even four or five baby rabbits (or kits if you want to be technical) snuggling in it.

That rascally rabbit had the burrow so cleverly hidden that it was practically invisible. She must have been coming in the middle of the night to feed her babies because we never saw hide nor hare (heh-heh) of her. But the babies are visible now. They're venturing out of the nest and exploring the backyard.

The wife emailed me this morning and told me she almost decapitated one with the weed whacker. So, now we have to play nursemaid again, this time to a litter of lagomorphs.

It would have been better if that stupid rabbit had found a safer place to raise a family, but I found a solution to that particular problem. It's called the Gopher Chaser.

It produces a sonic pulse at 400Hz every 30 seconds to drive off burrowing pests like moles, gophers, rodents, and rabbits (at least when they're digging nests in the ground).

Since the sonic pulses travel through the ground it won't harm pets, and there are no poisons to be afraid of. But the best part is it's solar-powered and maintenance-free. You just stake it into your lawn. It's good for about 7500 sq. feet.

If you have burrowing pests it's more than worth the $9.99 to try one out here.

And if you want to see a pic of the kit that the wife almost murdered with the weed whacker, pop over to the Clean Laffs Facebook page here.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Froot Loops cereal has added a new flavor, Wild Berry. People who tried the new flavor say it tastes like 'wild berries, plus sugar, minus wild berries.'" -Conan O'Brien

***
"Disney World announced they are finally serving alcohol at every restaurant in the Magic Kingdom. It's only been a week but I guess Disney is already thinking about changing their slogan. It used to be 'The Happiest Place on Earth.' Now they are considering new slogans, like 'Disney World: Where You Wish Upon a Bar.'" -Jimmy Fallon

***
"This week a California man recorded his wife giving birth, and accidentally live streamed it to the world on Facebook. I've heard of people on Facebook oversharing, but ovary sharing? " -James Corden

***
A woman was in court charged with the attempted murder of her husband.

"But why did you stab him over a hundred times?" asked the judge.

"Oh, your Honor," replied the defendant, "It wasn't my fault. didn't know how to switch off the electric carving knife!"




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb.

About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to climb.

About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch.

Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing.

Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were two little birds. Mommy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, "Don't you think it's time we told him he was adopted?"