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Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Hollywood has scraped the bottom of the barrel so many times movie-goers are getting splinters in their eyes from most of the crap that comes out. So how do you generate interest in the latest turd sandwich? How about a little controversy?

A sure Oscar-winning machine called "Happytime Murders" is coming out sometime way too soon. It stars Melissa McCarthy as a detective in a world where humans and Sesame Street-style puppets coexist. You can pre-order your tickets now so you won't have to wait in lines at the box office.

Because basically it is a cop movie, the film's tagline is "No sesame. All street." So Sesame Workshop, the creators of Sesame Street, filed a lawsuit against the producers of the film claiming trademark infringement. And the film's creators responded to the lawsuit with an actual puppet lawyer named Fred.

I'm not sure if this story is more bizarre if it's real, or if it is a publicity stunt.

In a statement, Fred wrote:

"STX loved the idea of working closely with Brian Henson and the Jim Henson Company to tell the untold story of the active lives of Henson puppets when they're not performing in front of children. 'Happytime Murders' is the happy result of that collaboration and we're incredibly pleased with the early reaction to the film and how well the trailer has been received by its intended audience. While we're disappointed that Sesame Street does not share in the fun, we are confident in our legal position. We look forward to introducing adult moviegoers to our adorably unapologetic characters this summer." -Fred, Esq., lawyer for STX Entertainment

And this is why the terrorists hate us.


P.S. Bizarre News is now of Facebook. We're expanding our reach, to bring the strange and stupid news to you whenever you log on. Follow Bizarre News and join the group so you won't miss out on a single story. Click here to visit Bizarre News on Facebook

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*------------ That's Just Bad Luck ------------*

This is the beauty of a community coming together to help one of their own; young Corbyn Jensen of Manhattan, Kansas, had been in the hospital and his family was unable to cope with the mounting medical bills. So his family and the community got together to organize a motorcycle ride to help pay the debt. Unfortunately, while Jensen was riding on the back of his stepfather's motorcycle, they were hit by a car. Both of them were hospitalized. The family is now asking people to be more aware of motorcyclists on roads. It is hoped that the NEXT fundraising event will be a little safer. Maybe a bake sale.


*-------- That's Quite a Pair of Melons --------*

Two melons grown in a prized region in Japan sold for a record-breaking price at a wholesale market's fruit auction. The melons, grow in Yubari, Hokkaido, sold for $29,436.80 at the Sapporo market, besting the $13,798.50 fetched by a pair of melons sold at the auction last year and the $27,597 record set in 2016. Shinya Noda, the winning bidder and president of fruit and vegetable packaging company Hokuyu Pack, said he wanted to make a large gesture to celebrate the 20th anniversary of his company. "I wanted to make a record-setting bid by all means," he told the Mainichi Shimbun. Noda said the melons will go on display until the end of the month, when they will be cut up and distributed as free samples to market customers.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Lewis, So it was murdered to death? Does that mean something can be murdered to life? If so, keep it away from my deceased mother in law! And if it was possible to examine it, why didn't they? Late night out for you before writing?

Come on, Lewis, a guy is trying to burn some weeds with a torch and ACCIDENTALLY burns down his old, dilapidated garage, then his insurance company comes along and builds him a brand new garage! Very curious.

I can't believe that guy destroyed his garage. How bad could his weeds have possibly been? For my money there's only one kind of weed you'd want to light up. --Dirk
[And that really explains my readership.]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*