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MOUTHPIECE - May 22, 2018

Good Afternoon,


As I write this I find myself suffering from a bit of sneezing fit. I wish I knew what was causing me to sdfjaio sneeze this severely, but I sudfh really don't have a clue.

Maybe somebody in the office has a oegiarh cat? Maybe I just have a bit of a asfhasjigh head cold? Maybe I'm allergic to TZ's awful cologne? asfhjdkgh

At any rate, I'm going to continue to sneeze and mash my keyboard. I asfbhgfag hope you enjoy today's Mouthpiece while I go and get myself asdfgwerg some tissues.

Mouthing Off,
Carl


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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"What people say you cannot do, you try and find that you can."
--Henry David Thoreau

"Lack of money is the root of all evil."
--George Bernard Shaw

"Would those of you in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry."
--John Lennon



[m] What's On the Web?

24 Wildly Inappropriate Official Movie Tie-In Products

From Cracked.com: George Lucas famously made the genius move of retaining all the merchandise rights for every Star Wars thing. Then he presumably dug a swimming pool to hold the truckloads of cash that poured in. Unfortunately, every franchise since then has been angling for some of that sweet merchandising cheddar, so we wind up with some truly ill-conceived official products. Things like...

Visit: 24 Wildly Inappropriate Official Movie Tie-In Products


The Living to 100 Life Expectancy Calculator

Take this quiz to find out how long you will live. You'll also get a full dose of health and nutrition advice based on your answers to the questions.

Visit: The Living to 100 Life Expectancy Calculator



[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- Signs Your Car Might Be A Lemon --*

1. Motor Trend never mentioned a "Chevrolet Caca."

2. "Jaws of Life" in trunk.

3. Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity.

4. Turn on the wipers and two guys climb out of the trunk with squeegees.

5. You realize too late that it *is* your father's Oldsmobile.

6. Changing the pre-set radio stations voids the warranty.

7. Manufactured in Zchkynk, Crzyktjkystan.

8. Car has spent more time on "60 Minutes" than on the road.

9. The hood ornament? An ostrich with its head in the sand.

10. Oil spills on your driveway prompt a visit from Greenpeace.

***

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