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Saturday, May 12, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

There is an old joke that goes: "You can't make somebody love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in."

The woman in today's story must have heard this advice, but she didn't take it as a joke.

It began about 10 months ago when 31-year-old Jacqueline Ades of Phoenix, Arizona had a date. Things apparently didn't go very well because the man told Ades he was no longer interested in seeing her. But she wasn't about to let it go at that.

Ades began stalking the victim. The man was reporting that she was continually texting him after he advised her that he wanted no more contact with her. At one point she started parking in front of the victim's residence.

Police sent her away, and that's when she started sending the threatening texts. Ades told the victim that she will kill him and bathe in his blood, among other unsavory comments. In total, Ades sent the victim 65,000 text messages.

Things got really creepy when the victim went out of town and his in-home surveillance cameras caught Ades in his home. When officers arrived, they found her in the residence taking a bath.

She was taken into custody and charged with trespass to a residence, a felony.

When she failed to show up for her court date on that charge she was eventually arrested for threatening and intimidating, stalking, and harassment.

So far there still has not been a second date.


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*----- I Fought the Claw and the Claw Won -----*

Like Brodie said in 'Mallrats': "Not a year goes by that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator." That advice could have been used by the parents of one toddler in Illinois who did not fear and respect a claw machine. The Palatine Fire Department said a crew responded to CD One Price Cleaners in Palatine on a report of a toddler stuck inside a toy-dispensing claw machine. Video from the rescue shows firefighters partially dismantling the machine until one of the men can climb inside and lift the 3-year-old boy, who was not injured, to safety. Officials said the boy is believed to have climbed into the machine through the prize-distribution door. The fire department said the rescue was the first of its kind for Palatine. The toddler's adventure was not completely in vain -- he walked away with two toys.


*---------------- Lucky Bastard ----------------*

This story is guaranteed to make you feel worse about your life. An Iowa man won a $4.38 million lottery jackpot with a ticket he got for free. Chuck Anderson of Davenport said he hadn't even intended to enter the Lotto America drawing, but he received a free ticket along with the Powerball ticket he purchased. The Iowa Lottery said it is giving away "Lotto Surprise" free plays this month to random players who buy tickets in games selected by the lottery. The qualifying game chosen for the first week was Powerball, and Anderson was selected when he bought his ticket. Anderson said he was in disbelief when he checked his numbers. "I'm waiting until the money is deposited," he said. "I won't believe it until it's there."

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

I did not know that urine can explode in a microwave. I always learn something new from Bizarre News. Although it kind of makes sense. Urine (or at least some chemical extracted from urine) used to be used to make gun powder.

If you're eating at a McDonald's you probably deserve to be shot at. That stuff is disgusting.

Lewis, I'd like to submit myself for the Bizarre Reader of the Month. -Judi
[I'd love to make you the Bizarre Reader of the Month, Judi, but you have to give me a paragraph about yourself and a pic.]

For the guy that shot the gun in the McDonald's drive-thru, relax, you'll get your diarrhea. So you got to wait a few minutes. Big deal! Literally, keep it in your holster, sheriff. -Buck

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*