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Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A man who tried to commit suicide is now suing the people who saved his life.

23-year-old Mateusz Fijalkowski came to the United States from Poland on an international summer job program and he was hired as an assistant at a swimming pool in Fairfax, Virginia.

Three days after he started, Fijalkowski reportedly suffered a bipolar episode for the first time. Police were called to the swimming pool when Fijalkowski, who hardly spoke English, was acting strange and tried to drown himself.

Video of the incident shows that when the 8 officers arrived, Fijalkowski was out of the pool, but he refused to cooperate.

He then walked back into the pool and went underwater. Officers did not allow the lifeguard to enter the water as they were afraid that Fijalkowski was going to pull him underwater as well.

Fijalkowski said that he stayed in the water for 2 minutes before police finally allowed the lifeguard to enter and pull him out. By that time, he was blue and officers performed CPR on him. He was then taken to a hospital.

Fijalkowski field a lawsuit against the police and the lifeguard for not taking him out of the water earlier. He is seeking more than $100,000 for medical bills.

Officials maintain that the police officers acted appropriately to save the suicidal man and to protect the lifeguard and themselves from this disturbed person.

"The police allowed me to sink before their eyes. I'm glad that in the end, they realized that they should not let me drown, but I do not thank them for letting me die, clinically, before their eyes," Fijalkowski said.

Fairfax County Police chief Edwin Roessler was surprised with the lawsuit and said: "They saved his life, he did not die. You are going to sue someone for saving your life?"


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*------ Gay Singing Fish Assaults are Up ------*

A man who became angry with his boyfriend grabbed a singing toy fish and used it to assault his partner, according to police in Florida. Police said that they have arrested 54-year-old Gregory Carney after being accused of using a Big Mouth Billy Bass to beat his boyfriend, Larry Timmerman. According to the police investigation, Carney and Timmerman lived together for 17 years. On Sunday, the couple had been arguing all day. At some point, Timmerman took the Big Mouth Billy Bass and threw it in a garbage can. When Carney asked where the singing toy fish was, Timmerman told him to look in the trash can. Carney then flew into a rage. He took the singing fish out of the trash and threw it at Timmerman. As a result, Timmerman suffered a laceration to the head. Carney has been charged with one count of battery domestic violence.


*---------------- 16 Dead at 43 ----------------*

A team of Australian scientists said they were "really miserable" to discover the world's oldest-known spider was killed by a wasp sting at the age of 43. Leanda Mason of Curtin University said the female trapdoor spider, known as Number 16, was 43 years old when it was killed by a wasp sting at its burrow in the wild. The previous record-holder for oldest spider was a 28-year-old Mexican tarantula documented by researchers. Female trapdoor spiders tend to remain in the areas around their burrows for their entire lives, allowing Number 16 to be studied in the wild. "To our knowledge this is the oldest spider ever recorded and her significant life has allowed us to further investigate the trapdoor spider's behavior and popular dynamics," Mason said in a Curtin University news release. Number 16 was born in 1974.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

LEWIS; Do you think it is possible that Ellie the horse who 20-year-old Kenneth Lijah Duyck had sexual contact with may now give birth to a centaur? --R.J.
[I don't think that's how it works.]

If that woman had time to go to a hotel room she had time to go to a hospital to deliver her baby, or don't they have hospitals in Turkey?

Everybody thinks you need a sterile operating theater and a staff of doctors to deliver a baby. Well, women have been doing it more or less by themselves for thousands and thousands of years. Good for her for taking responsibility for herself.
[Yep. I guess she just got lucky that it wasn't a breech birth, or anything else complicated.]

About that killer Stripper; I think that would be a nice change of pace. Usually it takes years of patient badgering and emotional torture for a woman to suck the life out of a man.

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*