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Saturday, April 28, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

You can learn a lot by watching YouTube; how to fix a leaky faucet, how to make a quiche, and apparently, how to self-deliver your own baby.

Tia Freeman, a 22-year-old member of the Air Force, found herself in a predicament when she started to go into labor while in a Turkish airport.

In a series of tweets Freeman told the whole story. She said she didn't realize she was pregnant until her third trimester. By that time she had made plans for a trip to Germany, but rather than cancel she decided to go anyway.

Unfortunately for her, during a 17-hour layover in Turkey the baby decided to start the final countdown.

Freeman tweeted, "I am NOT having a baby in this airport."

Freeman said she left the airport for a hotel, where she watched a YouTube clip on how to deliver a baby. She filled a bathtub with warm water, grabbed a towel to bite down on and began timing her contractions.

"Luckily it happened pretty quickly," Freeman wrote. "I only had to push about 5-6x before a baby popped out. Lol now let me tell you babies are buoyant. That little joker said bloop and floated right on up to the top of the water."

The MacGyver Mommy then used a shoelace to clamp the umbilical cord before cutting it with a knife.

And after all that Freeman and the baby almost didn't make it out of the country. When she returned to the airport customs thought she was a human trafficker trying to smuggle the baby out of the country. But after being interviewed by customs, the police, and a doctor, she was finally allowed to leave.

Freeman named the boy Xavier Ata.


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*-------------- Neigh Means Neigh --------------*

A homeless man broke into a woman's property and sexually assaulted her horse, according to police in Oregon. Washington County police said that they have arrested 20-year-old Kenneth Lijah Duyck after being accused of having sexual contact with the woman's horse. The woman who owns the property called the police to report that Duyck, who is homeless, asked her for permission to camp on her property. She denied his request. One morning, she woke up and found that her horse named Ellie was tied up at a different place from where she left him the prior evening. The woman believed that Duyck sexually assaulted her horse. A vet also confirmed it. When questioned, Duyck admitted to breaking into the woman's property, and he later admitted to having sexual contact with the horse. If convicted, Duyck faces up to 5 years in prison and fines of up to $125,000.


*--------------- Killer Strippers ---------------*

You can't buy this kind of publicity. How exciting does a stripper have to be to kill a guy? A man from the United Kingdom went to Thailand to enjoy himself only to suffer a massive heart attack and die. 61-year-old James Downing fell over and died while watching women dancing naked at a popular strip club in Bangkok. Multiple women told police that Downing was sitting next to the stage and watching the strippers dancing. He had a foam baton and waved it in the air when he suddenly fell to the floor. At first, people thought that Downing was drunk. Paramedics who arrived at the scene attempted to revive Downing, but their efforts were unsuccessful. He was declared dead at the scene.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

That thief with glue gun... Do you think the charges will stick?

About that guy who was robbing stores with a glue gun made to look like a real gun, when he said "This is a stick up", he meant it. Hope the cops remembered the song "I'm gonna stick like glue", it would have been appropriate to sing that on the way to the jail. -Tom

Of course he used a glue gun. He wanted to stick him up didn't he?

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*