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MOUTHPIECE - April 24, 2018

Good Afternoon,


It looks like Spring has finally sprung out there, but I'm still a bit hesitant to head outside. Who's with me?!

For those of you that decided to stay in I have another wonderfully entertaining edition of Mouthpiece ready to go.

If you're looking for a satisfying existence I have a great site for you to visit and learn about those little things that make life that much better. It's totally worth it. Trust me.

I just wish that reading Mouthpiece was on that list.

Mouthing Off,
Carl


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives


[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates."
--Jay Leno

"The price of greatness is responsibility."
--Sir Winston Churchill

"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."
--George Carlin



[m] What's On the Web?

33 Things That Are Insanely Satisfying (That Shouldn't Be)

From Cracked.com: There are entire businesses dedicated to transporting people into a state of pure joy. And the hilarious irony of that is, it's often the dumbest, most mundane things that bring us the most happiness. Bubble wrap. Peeling the plastic off a new smartphone. We asked readers for their best examples of mundane things that are disproportionately satisfying.

Visit: 33 Things That Are Insanely Satisfying (That Shouldn't Be)


The Most Popular '80s Movie In Every State

From Johnjay and Rich: Some of the greatest movies ever made came out during the 80s. The decade was filled with gripping action films, hysterical comedies and striking dramas, and the wizards at HowToWatch.com did enough research to figure out which one of those amazing films is the favorite in each state.

Visit: The Most Popular '80s Movie In Every State



[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- What The New Job-Lingo Really Means --*

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY - We have no time to train you.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE - We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED - You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED - Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY - Anyone in the office can boss you around.

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL - We have no quality control.

CAREER-MINDED - Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE - We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE - You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST - You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS - You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS - Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

***

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