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Thursday, April 12, 2018

Greetings Laff Lovers,

It's finally starting to look like spring outside, which means any weekend now the wife is going to start giving me outside projects to do. Clean the gutters, edge the lawn, all that shit.

I suppose I could distract her for a few more weekends with marathons of sweaty, sticky, circus-sex leaving her too sore and exhausted to think about anything other than sitting in a bath of warm water.

Which means I should probably figure out where I stored that edger.



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A husband and wife were sitting at the breakfast table and the man was reading the ads in the paper.

He looked up and said, "Here is a great sale on tires!"

His wife replied, "What do you want tires for? You don't have a car."

He came back with, "I don't complain when you go out and buy a new bra, do I?!"

Henry and his over-developed wife were sitting in the stands waiting for the football game to begin. A friend walked over, said, "Hello Henry," and gave Henry's wife's breast a little squeeze and walked away.

A few minutes later another guy walked over, said, "Hello Henry," then, he too, fondled his wife's breasts and walked on.

This strange sequence of events went on for some time. Finally a man sitting next to Henry spoke up, "Listen pal, It's none of my business, but isn't it a little odd that at least twelve guys came by, said hello to you then grabbed your wife by the breast? What's the story?"

Henry looked at him and moaned, "What can I do? If I leave her at home, she sleeps with everybody!"

A friend in Kentucky tells us of a thirteen-year old boy who had to be rushed to the hospital. Apparently he took two of his grandpa's Viagra pills and had to be treated for third degree burns.

A young man bought a new pair of boots of which he was so proud that he decided to go dancing and give them a try.

After dancing with a lady for a few minutes he said, "I bet I can guess the color of your panties."

"O.K.", she replied, "what color do you think they are?"

"Blue," he replied.

"You're right!" she exclaimed. "How did you know that?"

"I saw the reflection in my shiny new boots," he said.

"Here," she said, "dance with my sister and see if you can tell what color her panties are."

After dancing a while, the young man frowned and started rubbing his boots on his pants, then he shook his head and started to dance again.

After a few minutes he asked the new lady, "Pardon me for askin' but what color panties do you have on? I can't seem to make them out."

She giggled and said, "I don't have any panties on."

With a sigh of relief the young man said, "Oh good, for a minute I thought I had a crack in my new boots."