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Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A police sergeant is facing suspension after failing a random drug test, according to police in New York.

The New York Police Department suspended 43-year-old Tracy Gittens, a police sergeant, for 30 days after a strand of her hair tested positive for marijuana.

Gittens defended herself, saying that the strand of hair that was tested did not belong to her. She explained that on the day of the random test, she was wearing human hair extensions and that was tested.

Gittens said that only her hair extensions showed signs of marijuana use but her own her tested negative.

She went to a private lab and got additional testing. Gittens claimed that those tests showed that she never used marijuana. During her tribunal, Gittens affirmed that she does not use marijuana.

However, prosecutors blasted her defense, saying that a DNA test showed that the hair was from Gittens and not hair extensions.

After being confronted with the evidence, she changed her story and claimed that she may have accidentally used marijuana.


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*------ 13-Year-Old Running for Governor ------*

A candidate seeking the Democratic nomination for Vermont governor is facing a unique set of challenges due to one simple factor -- he's only 13. Ethan Sonneborn, a Bristol eighth grader facing two challengers for the Democratic nomination in the August primary, has made gun control a centerpiece of his campaign since he announced his political ambitions last year. "My generation has been taking an important step in this because we're the ones were getting shot," Sonneborn said. Vermont Democratic Party Executive Director Conor Casey said Sonneborn's age gives his campaign some unique challenges. "It's funny, his biggest barrier is complications to being in school while simultaneously running for governor -- not that I'm advocating that he drop out," Casey said. "Also, not having a driver's license. He's dependent on other people for rides to statewide events he speaks at." Vermont Secretary of State Jim Condos said the state currently has no age-based restrictions for gubernatorial candidates, but his office will likely be discussing establishing a minimum age in the next year.


*------- Jesus Is The Light of The World -------*

Jesus might be the light of the world, but one teenager would never know about it without the light of the taser. An Arizona mother was arrested after police say she used a taser to wake up her 16-year-old for an Easter church service. Sharron Dobbins, 40, told police in Phoenix that she "only sparked the taser to get the kids up for church on Easter," according to court records. An 18-year-old and 17-year-old were also in the room of the apartment and witnessed the incident on April 1. Police found the taser and impounded it as evidence. The victim "did not complain of any pain," according to police, but did have two small bumps on his leg that he said were left by the taser.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Did the judge find those underwear in the woman's drawers or her hamper?
[Does it really matter?]

Hi Lewis, Why are you making us go to your webpage to get the full article? -The Empress
[Because there is more fun stuff on the website. I want to expand Bizarre News into different formats, different venues, different audiences, grow the subscriber list, generate more interest, recruit followers, dominate the market, build an empire and take over the world. It would also be nice to get a few people to click on some funny pictures, maybe watch a video or participate in some other way.]

I understand the woman doing something she's intimately familiar with during brain surgery so the doctors can see if what they are doing is improving her motor control, but what if you don't know how to play the flute? I'd hate the doctors to ask me to do something with my hands that I'M intimately familiar with.

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*