Thursday, March 29, 2018
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Did you see this story? Just in time for Easter it is being reported that Pope Francis said, in an unofficial interview, that Hell does not exist and that condemned souls just "disappear."
Like I said, this was an unofficial interview which means it is not what they call 'dogma'. But still, this contradicts 2,000 years of teaching that if you are an unrepentant sinner your soul will spend eternity in the outer darkness where 'men will weep and gnash their teeth.'
Have I really spent all these years not sinning for nothing? I mean, we are all sinners, but can you imagine the struggles of some people? All of the guilt, all of the confusion, all of the moral crises, and in the end none of it matters?
I bet when their day finally comes there are going to be a lot of relieved chronic masturbators out there.
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These two guys go to a whorehouse.
The first guy goes in then comes out and says, "My wife is better."
The second guy goes in then comes out and says, "You know what? Your wife IS better."
I've been married 25 years, took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot, 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car and sleeping on a sofa bed...
Got this text from my brother recently. It read, "Can I stay at your house for a while? The ol' lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my dick. Turns out it just reaches the back of her sister's throat!"
An old man woke up in the middle of the night and found, to his utter astonishment, that his pecker was as hard as a rock for the first time in two years.
He shook his wife by the shoulder until she woke up and showed her his enormous boner. "You see that thing, woman?" he happily exclaimed. "What do you think we ought to do with it?"
With one eye open, his wife replied, "Well, now that you've got all the wrinkles out, this might be a good time to wash it."