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Sunday, March 25, 2018

Greetings Laff Lovers,

"Trust me TZ, you wouldn't have wanted to marry a stripper. I did and it ended badly. Met a friend of a friend one night and found out he had married a stripper too. His marriage also ended badly. In both cases it was the woman's fault. Put that thought completely out of your mind!" -Gary

While I appreciate the advice, 40 years too late as it is, I wrote "run away with" not marry. I was a moody young man and I was having a conflict with my dad about what the hell I was going to do with my life. She was a few (10) years older than me and was probably flattered by the attention of a handsome, ambitious young stud like me. For my part, I think she made me feel a lot more mature than I really was at that age.

But even as a dumb, cum-filled, young rebel with one foot barely into manhood, I still had brains enough not to get married. And it didn't have anything to do with her being a stripper, although thinking back if anything would have changed my dad's attitude toward me it probably would have been bringing home a stripper, but I don't know if he would have been envious or disappointed.

Probably both.



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"Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first." -Steve Irwin (1962-2006)

A student asked his English professor, "What is the definition of a dilemma?"

The professor said, "Well, there's nothing better than an example to illustrate that.

"Imagine that you are lying naked in a big bed, flat on your back with a beautiful naked young woman on one side, and a horny naked gay man on the other.

"Now, which one are you going to turn your back on?"

"Officials in Indiana have discovered a working meth lab inside a Walmart. They became suspicious when they noticed a Walmart employee making a decent living." -Conan O'Brien

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Kevin says: "I wanna start out as a Marine Pilot, then make a billion dollars, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel around Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a screen door in a hurricane."

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Kevin, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson...

"And how about you, Sarah? What do you want to be?"

"I wanna be Kevin's whore."