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Thursday, February 8, 2018

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I was just walking out of the kitchen where I had ground up a fresh pot of my special dark Arabica roast and balanced it perfectly with just a little bit of cream and two spoonfuls of sugar.

As I was walking back to my office I took an experimental sip and was so impressed with my expertise that I couldn't help announcing to the office, "Ahhh...I like my coffee like I like my women...sweet and creamy."

That prompted Lewis who was standing there to interject, "And I like my women like I like my eye glasses...on my face."

That got a general laugh from the office. Poor Clean Laffs Joe apparently felt like his comedic virility was being threatened because he immediately contribute his 2 cents with, "I like my women like I like my on the inside with a ring of fat around them."



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"New Barbies will come in different sizes and with more realistic body types. Not only that, the new Ken dolls come with beer googles." -Conan O'Brien

I was making love to this girl and she started crying.

I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?"

She said. "No. I hate myself now."

--Rodney Dangerfield

"A new Nielson survey found that Washington, D.C. has the most 25-34-year-olds in the country who make over $100,000 a year. They're called hookers." -Jimmy Fallon

I was chatting to this girl in the pub last night and telling her of my uncanny ability to be able to tell the day any woman was born by holding their breasts in my hands.

She thought I was having her on but was curious none the less. Eventually curiosity got the better of her and she said go on then give it a try!

I stood there feeling her breasts for about a minute before she finally lost her patience and asked, "So? When was I born?"

I replied, "Yesterday."