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MOUTHPIECE - February 6, 2018

Good Afternoon,

Valentine's Day is about a week away. Hopefully you have someone special to spend the day with, but if you do not I have a fantastic list that may just help you to get yourself a great guy or laaaaaadieeeee for the 14th.

Down below take a gander at some of the greatest "Redneck Pick Up Lines". They may just come in handy in making Valentine's Day 2012 your best yet. Number 9 works more often than you would think.

Hey, be clever and show a little class when it comes to romance.

This issue has other stuff too. Enjoy it.

Mouthing Off,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"Drama is life with the dull bits cut out."
--Alfred Hitchcock

"Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."
--W. C. Fields

"We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch."
--John F. Kennedy

[m] What's On the Web?

Who's the best Dark Knight? Ranking the Batman actors

How was the best Batman? Nuff said.

Visit: Who's the best Dark Knight?

American Mustache Institute

This amazing treasure of a site is all about "Protecting the rights of, and fighting discrimination against mustached Americans, by promoting the growth, care, and culture of the mustache."

Visit: American Mustache Institute

[m] b i t s . n . b o b s


1. Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.

2. Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

3. My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.

4. Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to check you out.

5. Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em.

6. If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7. You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

8. Man: "Fat Penguin!" Woman: "WHAT?" Man: "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

9. I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

10. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

11. Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12. If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

13. Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.


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