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February 05, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

10dollarsThere are a lot of dim bulbs out there roaming free on this planet. Here's a list of quotes from several of them that I overheard recently. If this keeps up our species is doomed!

1. A quarter isn't worth that much.

2. Hats are only good for your head.

3. All school is good for is learning.

4. Math would be great if it weren't for all the numbers.

5. Chicken tastes just like chicken.

6. Is April Fool's Day only once a year?

7. Buying stuff can cost you some big money.

8. My car doesn't have brakes. Is that bad?

9. I'm so hungry I could eat some food.

10. Just call her and tell her to text you.

Wow! Sounds like a bunch of registered voters to me. Feel free to send me some of the dumbest declarations that ever made it to your ears. You shouldn't suffer that kind of trauma alone. Just Email Steve

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- It's So Clean! --*

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.

"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."

"Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
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*-- They've Stolen Everything! --*

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.

"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
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*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What two things can you not have for breakfast?

A: Lunch and dinner.

Q: What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

A: The hundred yard dash.

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