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Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

There are service animals; like seeing eye dogs, and then there are so-called 'emotional support' animals. This second category gets a little fuzzy because it's hard to pin point exactly who needs emotional support and what animals are actually qualified to provide it.

Because of this, people with anxiety, depression, paranoia, and mild nervousness have been able to bring dogs, guinea pigs, even ducks, on public transportation, including airplanes.

But tolerance for this kind of thing is wearing thin. Recently United Airlines was forced to deny a traveler's request to bring her emotional support peacock on a flight departing Newark Liberty International Airport.

"This animal did not meet guidelines for a number of reasons, including its weight and size. We explained this to the customers on three separate occasions before they arrived at the airport," said United in a statement.

Despite this, the unidentified woman still brought her bird to the airport, claiming she had a second ticket for the peacock.

Pictures quickly appeared on social media. "Unbelievable, this has to stop now!" one user wrote.

The news comes on heels of Delta's controversial crackdown of emotional support and service animals. On Jan. 19, the airline announced forthcoming restrictions in hopes of curbing an abuse of policy and an 84 percent increase in ill animal behavior such as urinating, defecating, biting and attacks on flights.

Personally I've always found badgers to be very calming and relaxing. I wonder what it takes to get a certification...


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*------ There's Nothing Like Home-Cookin' ------*

Authorities in Texas said a federal prison inmate was arrested on an escape charge after he was caught breaking back to the prison with a bag of home-cooked food. The Jefferson County Sheriff's Office said deputies received a tip that inmates at the Federal Correctional Complex in Beaumont were crossing from prison grounds into private land owned by a local rancher to smuggle contraband into the facility. The sheriff's office Narcotics Investigators and U.S. Marshals set up surveillance at the facility and witnessed a vehicle drop a large duffle bag on the private property. An inmate, identified as Joshua Hansen, 25, was seen running from the prison grounds to retrieve the bag. Hansen, who was being held at the complex on a narcotics charge, was caught while running back to the prison with the bag, which was found to contain contraband including "a large amount of home-cooked food." The bag also contained marijuana, three bottles of brandy, one bottle of whisky, multiple bags of Bugler tobacco, packaged snacks and fruit.


*- "Walker Managed To Escape Without His pants" -*

A truck driver involved in a love-triangle was arrested for causing a crash while he was having sex. According to police in New York, 38-year-old Stephen Walker and another man were doing drugs and having sex in the truck, which was parked near Kennedy Airport. While having sex, the boyfriend of the other man arrived and confronted the lovers. Walker quickly attempted to flee from the jilted man. As he drove off, he crashed into the back of a woman's silver sedan. She was rushed to a hospital. Walker then crashed into a fence, crushing the cabin of the truck. Walker managed to escape without his pants and hid in an empty horse trailer outside of an animal shelter. After a few minutes, Walker came out of the trailer and spoke with emergency workers about his lover, who was trapped inside the cab of the truck. First responders were able to free the man, who was naked from the waist down, and they took him to a hospital for treatment.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

LEWIS; [1] I've never understood the tanning bed thing. I just wait until summer and get my tan the old fashioned way at the local public pool. [2] I could certainly understand a dad hiring a stripper for the birthday of a 16-18 year old lad (although my dad never did) but I seriously doubt a 12 year old would truly appreciate such a gift. And why would the dad be stupid enough to let a video of the event go public? Yet that lad is probably now envied by his peers. -R.S.

Lewis, did you see that Ron Jeremy was banned from the porn awards in Las Vegas because he has been accused of sexually assaulting women? Boy, you think you know a guy...
[I did see that. And while I appreciate the irony, assault is still assault. Just because a woman lets you have sex with her while a camera is pointed between her legs, doesn't mean she is obligated to do it when the camera is off. However, Jeremy did deny the claims. And there are a ton of pictures of him groping and fondling women, clearly with their permission, all over the Internet. The story I read had a half dozen of them alone. It makes it a LITTLE hard to distinguish one from the other. So I figured I would just leave that story alone.]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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