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Friday, January 26, 2018

Good morning crew,

I was feeling nostalgic about our Europe trip last year (going on two years now) and suggested to the wife that maybe we should host our own Oktoberfest this fall.

"You mean just invite a bunch of people over to drink beer?" she said.

"No! Not just invite a bunch of people over to drink beer. We'll make it as authentic as possible. We'll only have Munich beer, and we'll buy a bunch of those big, 1 liter steins to serve the beer in, and we'll have real 'fest' food like bratwursts with sauerkraut, and wiesnhendl, and we'll get some of those blue and white checkered tablecloths, just like in the Hofbrau festzelte in Munich," I was really starting to warm up to the idea by this point, "and we'll hire a little 2 or 3 piece 'Um-pa' band to perform. We can build stage right in the back yard!"

"How are you planning to pay for this little extravaganza?" the wife asked.

"Well, I don't know how much a small, local band would charge to perform for a few hours, but..." I did some mental calculations, "I bet we could pull the whole thing off for 2,000 bucks. Maybe less!"

"And what about finally buying a dining room set? And a new roof for the garage?" she asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Priorities."

She sighed, "I'll buy some lottery tickets tomorrow."

You can see my inspiration for this brain storm by checking out the Clean Laffs Facebook page. Just click; Munchen Oktoberfest 2016

Laugh it up,


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"Congrats to Sen. Tammy Duckworth who will become the first U.S. senator to have a baby while in office! That's right, she's having a baby, so at least we've got ONE senator who'll deliver." -Jimmy Fallon


"China has banned hip hop from Chinese television, which is bad news for China's biggest hip hop star, the Notorious MSG." -Conan O'Brien


"The Taj Mahal is currently undergoing its first cleaning since its construction in the 1600s. 'Maybe we should do that,' said New York." -Seth Meyers


The banana loaf I was making was in the oven when my 16-year-old came into the kitchen where the family had gathered.

"That bread smells about done don't you think, Mom?" he asked.

I told him I had set the timer and it still had five minutes.

A little later he repeated his suggestion. "Mom, I really think that loaf is done. Maybe you should check it."

Always quick to come to my defense, my 13-year-old son said, "Eddie, Mom's been burning that banana bread for 20 years now. I think she knows when to take it out."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: "An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse's mate is found in a 'compromising position.'"

"See, I have a problem with that passion business," responded the jury candidate. "During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him."

She wasn't selected for the jury.

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