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Friday, January 19, 2018

Good morning crew,

The wife's dance school is having an open dance party tonight. Basically it's a big recruiting event. You ask your students to invite everybody they know for a free group dance lesson, open a few bottles of wine, everybody has a good time and, BINGO! A bunch of new, paying students. At least that's what they are hoping for.

I certainly have no illusions of becoming a dancer like the wife. Oh, I have enough coordination to learn a few steps, but to learn enough to be extemporaneous is beyond my patience. But, I still want to be a part of what my wife is passionate about, so I'm going tonight, to stomp around the dance floor a few times and hopefully not crush any toes.

Besides, if I get confused by the Foxtrot, the Tango or the Lumbago, I can always fall back on my old standbys; the running man, the fly, the water sprinkler and the bandae dollyeo chagi.

Laugh it up,


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"Some news for travelers here. I read that British Airways is getting rid of reclining seats on their planes. And if you think that's bad, Southwest just announced that their new seats only recline forward." -Jimmy Fallon


"Anybody here drink water but wish you could pay more for it? Well, good news, folks, because the next big startup craze in Silicon Valley is companies offering consumers the chance to get 'off the water grid' with something called 'raw water,' which is water that is unfiltered, untreated, and unsterilized. Wow, drinking that sounds un-sane." -Stephen Colbert


"During a political protest on Capitol Hill today, 82 rabbis were arrested. It's the first time D.C. police have dispersed a crowd by spraying them with bacon." -Conan O'Brien


So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for:

There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available.

You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break, which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.

You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off!

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

I had noticed that my 60-year-old father seemed to be losing his hearing, so I mentioned it to my mother.

"Things haven't changed that much," she said. "The only difference is, before he didn't listen to me. Now, he can't."

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