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Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Good morning crew,

It's a balmy 16 degrees F here in the Chicagoland area. That's not so bad, really.

A little town in Russia called Oymyakon sank to a mind-numbing 88 degrees below zero yesterday. That's even colder than the average temperature on Mars, which is 80 below zero.

Compared to that 16 degrees is practically shirt-sleeve weather.

I might even pull the barbecue grill out tonight.

Laugh it up,


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"I read about a company that's working on technology that would let your pet video chat with you. It's fun to get a video chat from your dog, but depressing to watch your cat decline your call." -Jimmy Fallon


"Saudi Arabia has lifted a 35-year ban on movie theaters, and the first movie to screen publicly was "The Emoji Movie." So, the ban is back on." -Conan O'Brien


"A company has come out with a line of medical marijuana dog treats. Finally a medicine that will help my dog lie on the couch all day." -Seth Meyers


A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!"

"Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier. "We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank."

"Well, ok," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra twenty. Bye."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

While I was working in the men's section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband.

When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs.

"I don't know his size," she said, "but my hands fit perfectly around his neck."

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