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Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Residents of an Ohio city are being asked to take down their bird feeders after mail carriers found their routes blocked by a rafter of aggressive wild turkeys.

The U.S. Postal Service branch in Rocky River informed the city that the turkeys have been creating hazardous conditions for mail carriers in multiple neighborhoods and about 25 to 30 homes haven't been able to receive their mail at all during the past three weeks.

Rocky River Mayor Pam Bobst said residents are being asked to take down their bird feeders in an attempt to get the turkeys to vacate the area.

"There's a lot of bird feeders over there so there's a food source in that area," she said. "It is an issue so we've asked residents to cease putting out bird seed and bird food so we can see if they will go down to the Metroparks."

Rocky River resident Dave Liberatore captured video of his recent encounter with a group of the territorial turkeys while he was out walking his dog.

"My wife was about 20 feet ahead of me telling me to go faster than I was and I probably should have been listening," he said. "They did that same thing where they kind of lower their head and get some speed going toward you to make sure that you know that they mean business and it worked. I sped up, too."

Neighbor Chris Lambrinides said his postal worker is one of those who have found their paths blocked by the turkeys.

"He's not able to deliver at all times because they'll attack him so we got a notice that we have to go to the post office to pick up our mail," Lambrinides said.

David Van Allen, regional spokesman for the post office, said carriers are attempting measures including delivering later in the evening to see if they can avoid turkey attacks.

"The carriers are carrying an air horn to see if that will scare off the turkeys, if that will discourage them," he said. "We're attempting to deliver every day and we will continue to do that."

He said some postal workers have been pecked by the turkeys, but they were not seriously injured.


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*------- Flaming Spider Burns Apartment -------*

A California man using a lighter to kill a "huge" spider in his apartment ended up causing $11,000 worth of damage when the arachnid ignited a mattress. Lyndsey Wisegarver, a caregiver for a resident of the apartment in Redding, said another resident was trying to kill a massive spider with a torch lighter and succeeded in setting the pest aflame. "It was a huge wolf spider," Wisegarver said. The attempt turned to disaster, however, when the flaming spider fled into a mattress, setting it on fire. Wisegarver said the flames soon spread to the apartment's drapes and a flag collection. Redding firefighters responded to the building, where residents tried unsuccessfully to extinguish the flames with a garden hose. The damage from the fire was estimated at about $11,000.


*------- Who The Hell Robs a Hobby Lobby? -------*

Police in North Dakota said a shoplifting suspect was foiled when his cart, loaded with $4,000 worth of merchandise, got stuck in the snow and he dropped his wallet. Minot police said employees at the local Hobby Lobby store reported a male shoplifter around 7 p.m. Wednesday. Officers arrived to find the suspect's shopping cart, loaded with $4,000 worth of merchandise, had gotten stuck in the deep snow and overturned in the parking lot. The man abandoned the merchandise and fled the scene, but police said he tripped in the parking lot and dropped his wallet before making his escape. The wallet contained a photo ID belonging to Dustin Johnson, 22. Police arrested Johnson at his home on felony shoplifting charges. Johnson was booked into the Ward County Jail in lieu of $5,000 bond.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Hello Lewis, It would be interesting how school enrolment will be when the twins are ready. When I started school a child started when he turned six before New Year's day. So with my birthday in December, I was still five years old. I checked with my old school board about whether a child could be kept out of school until he was six but it seemed pretty strict and only in a very special situation could such a thing happen.

Lewis; You wrote: "However, his penis got caught and he was unable to get off". It goes without saying that if I was in a similar predicament, "getting off" would be the last thing on my mind. -Jerry

A free ride, free medical attention, got to party with some free heavy duty drugs, and a free meal at the local steakhouse! At least that's the way the other's attorneys will see it.
[And the police.]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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