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Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Why pay for a motel room for your amorous encounters when you have a vehicle? And hiring a baby-sitter is just throwing money if that vehicle has a back seat. All that's missing is plenty of booze to set the mood and you have...

Witnesses of a single-vehicle crash were shocked to see a naked man and woman emerging from the wreck, according to police in Washington.

Washington State Troopers said that they have arrested the driver, 23-year-old Michael Tonkin, who was having sex with the naked woman, 23-year-old Daisy Laroque, before slamming into the three.

According to the police investigation, the man was driving down State Route 7 with a 3-month-old baby in the back seat.

The man and the woman were both drunk and naked. The couple was having sex when the man missed a curve and drove off the road. Seconds later, the car slammed into a tree.

Witnesses at the scene saw the naked man and woman emerge from the wreck. Both appeared to be intoxicated.

The man and the baby were not injured but the woman suffered broken bones and was transported to a hospital.

Tonkin was charged with driving under the influence, vehicular assault, and child endangerment.


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*-- Rule 1: Keep Your Finger Off the Trigger --*

A man shot himself while arguing with another man during a road rage incident, according to police in Florida. When officers arrived at the scene the encountered a man who suffered a gunshot wound to the leg. According to the police investigation, the incident unfolded when two drivers got into an argument. One of the men felt threatened by the other and pulled out his weapon. While waving it around, the gun discharged. The gun owner suffered a gunshot wound to his leg. The victim was taken to a hospital, where he was treated for a non-life-threatening injury. No charges have been filed because the weapon was legally owned and the victim felt threatened.


*------------------- O.M.G. -------------------*

You don't have to be a celebrity to give your baby a stupid name. Take it from this Arkansas couple who plan to name their firstborn child after their favorite eatery: Olivia Garton. Justin and Jordan Garton of Fort Smith said they have decided to name the baby, due in December, after the restaurant where they once ate every day for seven weeks after buying a "never ending pasta pass" in 2015. The couple said they quickly ruled out Olive Garton for the baby's name, but soon settled on Olivia. "We were able to make the joke, but a little more subtle, and it's still a pretty name," said Jordan Garton, 26. "It was definitely an easy decision." The Gartons said they hid one other Easter egg in baby Olivia's name: Her middle name will be Michelle, making her initials O.M.G. "I guess we just have to be those hashtag millennial parents," Jordan Garton said.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

In reference to the person complaining that he had to get a second fridge because he couldn't fit ALL of his food in just one, try looking around at the average people in this world and you won't have to worry about how much food you have.

A foot or a hand is an appendage. But a penis is a best buddy. You go bar hopping together and see who you run into and play the games needed for scoring. Some mornings both wished they would not have scored.

Lewis, I am a woman, and I don't know ANY woman who would ask to have their breasts grabbed for photos. ESPECIALLY by a creepy clown at some kind of carnival haunted house. But then again, I really don't know any whores, tramps or sluts, so I guess it's possible.

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