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Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

The moral of this story is: never open your door for anybody, ever, for any reason.

Audrey and Edward Cramer, ages 66 and 69, of Pennsylvania, filed a lawsuit naming Buffalo Township police and the Nationwide Insurance Co. after the police raided their home.

The Cramers' lawsuit says the incident began when a Nationwide insurance agent, visiting their home for a property damage claim, photographed the hibiscus plants in their back yard and sent them to police.

The lawsuit, filed Thursday in Butler County Court, alleges Nationwide agent "intentionally photographed the flowering hibiscus plants in such a manner as not to reveal that they had flowers on them so that they would appear to resemble marijuana plants."

Audrey Cramer said three Buffalo Township police officers pulled her out of her home while she was dressed in only her underwear.

"I was not treated as though I was a human being. I was just something they were going to push aside," she reported. "I asked them again if I could put pants on and he told me no and I had to stand out on the porch."

The Cramers said they were handcuffed and forced to sit in a police car for four hours while the officers ransacked their home.

"Sometimes I think they look for a crime where it doesn't exist in order to justify their existence," Edward Cramer said.

The Cramers said they tried telling police the plants were hibiscus, but officers insisted they were marijuana.

The couple said they never received an apology.

"I cannot understand the frame of reference that was on these police officers' minds, what were they thinking," Lindsay said.

The lawsuit, which names the police department, three officers, Nationwide and the agent, is seeking "monetary and compensatory damages" as well as attorneys' fees and court costs.

I hope they win.


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*----------------- Avant Garde -----------------*

An Indian man is headed for the Guinness Book of World Records after stuffing a staggering 459 drinking straws into his mouth at once. Guinness confirmed Manoj Kumar Maharana, 23, of Odisha, broke the world record for most straws stuffed in the mouth without using hands by cramming 459 straws into his pie hole. Maharana, who was allowed to use elastic bands to keep the straws together but not his hands, has to have all of the straws in his mouth and keep them there for 10 seconds without falling to obtain the title. Maharana was allowed to use his hands to get the straws into his mouth, but not to hold them in place. The previous record holder, British man Simon Elmore, stuffed 400 straws into his mouth at an event in Germany.


*-------- Improvise, Adapt and Overcome --------*

A woman who was dubbed the "Hamburglar" was arrested for breaking into a McDonald's in Mayland. The Howard County Police Department posted a video on social media, showing the woman breaking into the McDonald's through the drive-thru window. Howard County police said that they responded to the scene when an employee who arrived for work found that the restaurant had been burglarized. Officers reviewed video surveillance and saw a white Hyundai Sonata pull into the McDonald's drive-thru around 1:00 a.m. The driver, now identified as Jessica Marie Cross, attempted to place an order in the drive-thru lane but the business was closed. She was then seen crawling through the drive-thru window and entering the restaurant, where she remained for approximately 35 minutes. Cross did not immediately cover her face. It was only during the robbery that she pulled her shirt over her head to block her face. Police said that Cross was seen on video attempting to disable the surveillance system, wipe her fingerprints from the area, and wash the cash drawers to remove her fingerprints. She managed to steal about $1,400 cash, a purse, food items, and Happy Meal toys while at the business, according to police.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

"The penis wants to be out there..." Lewis, that made my day!

If it's any comfort, Lewis, I suffer from MLIADAIHNHFTFS (My Life Is A Disappointment And I Have No Hope For The Future Syndrome) too. I think mine is terminal. -David
[It's all terminal, David. Eventually.]

Hello Lewis, I have an extra refrigerator in my living room, What's wrong with that?
[Nothing, if you live in a trailer park. And that's not a criticism either. That's half of our customer base.]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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