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Saturday, November 18, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

You have probably already seen this story, it's been all over the news all day, but how often do you get to talk about sky dicks? Strato-junk. The Cocky Blue Yonder?

It's a guy thing. The penis wants to be out there. It's not shy. And the bigger the better. That's what led to...

Officials with the Naval Air Station Whidbey Island said one of their aircraft was involved in the obscene skywritings spotted in Okanogan County, Washington. Photos by multiple sources show skydrawings of what people are saying is male genitalia.

A mother who lives in Okanogan said she was upset she might have to explain to her young children what the drawings were.

Navy officials said, "The Navy holds its aircrew to the highest standards and we find this absolutely unacceptable, of zero training value and we are holding the crew accountable."

FAA officials said unless the act poses a safety risk, there is nothing they can do about. The official said they "cannot police morality."

But you have to admit, if you've seen the pictures, and by now I'm sure you have, that's some pretty impressive flying. It can't be easy to use an airplane to draw mile-wide testicles in the sky like that.


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*--------- Another Monday in Michigan ---------*

A man was arrested Monday afternoon after police found him acting "extremely bizarre" in a parking lot in Northern Michigan. Police were called to an BP Gas Station in Scottville, Michigan, for a man walking around the parking lot covered in blood and sitting in a car that did not belong to him. When police approached, the 62-year-old man rushed at them, screaming and began trying to attack the deputies. The man, identified as Roy Purple, was arrested for the attempted attack. Witnesses described Purple as extremely intoxicated. The blood was from a deer that was hit by a car. "Sometimes all you can do is just shake your head and walk away, you can't make this stuff up." the sheriff said. Police said alcohol was a factor in the incident.


*---------------- When Pigs Fly ----------------*

A woman was kicked off an airplane when her hog began causing problems in the aisles. And no, that's not a euphemism. One shocked onlooker said the brown swine looked around 70 pounds as it was tossed over the unidentified woman's shoulder and marched off. Others initially thought it was a duffel bag - but were given the shock of their lives when it began oinking on board the US Airways flight out of Connecticut. One passenger said, "She tethered it to the arm rest next to me and started to deal with her stuff, but the pig was walking back and forth. I was terrified, because I was thinking I'm gonna be on the plane with the pig." American Airlines, the parent company of US Airways, confirmed it was taken on board as an emotional support animal.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

About incest, you said grandma always gets picked last. But I think as long as she gets picked, she's good with that.

LEWIS; While I could understand a pet dog or kitty as an emotional support animal a squirrel is a wild rodent. We can enjoy the cute little squirrels outside in our trees and running along fences but they're not ideal house pets. Better to just leave some bread crusts for them to munch on outside but let them live free on their own. -R.S.

Hey Lewis. I read with interest about Ray Lewis with ABS. I also have a disorder which only affects me from Fri-Sunday called TMPS. I knew what it was, so no need to seek medical help--Too Much Pot Syndrome. It happens to the best of us. -Buzzy Z
[I have MLIADAIHNHFTFS. Also known as My Life Is A Disappointment And I Have No Hope For The Future Syndrome.]

So if the wife gives her husband with ABS a blow job. Would she be doing whiskey sour jelly shots? -Bear

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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