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Thursday, November 2, 2017

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I was just reading an article about so-called white-washing; you know, when white actors are cast in roles that were written for different ethnicities. Examples given were: Scarlett Johansson as the Asian heroine in Ghost In The Shell, Christian Bale as Moses in Exodus: Gods And Kings, and pasty white Tilda Swinton as the Tibetan 'Ancient One' in Doctor Strange.

First of all, do you notice how no one ever complains when a black guy is cast in a white role? How about Will Smith as Robert Neville in I Am Legend, a role that was first played by Vincent Price, of all people, Morgan Freeman as Red (originally written as an Irishman) in The Shawshank Redemption, Samuel Jackson as Nick Fury in all the Avengers movies, or Idris Elba as Heimdall in Thor, just to name a few?

I don't know what you'd call that; black-facing? Or maybe boot-polishing?

But what really gets me is the lack of diversity in one of the most widely viewed and culturally ubiquitous genres out there today; porn.

And it's not just racist, it's sexist too.

Look at women in porn and you will find a lot of white women, sure, but you also don't have to look very hard to find black women, Asian women, Latin women, Filipinos, even Middle Eastern women. All equally demeaned, humiliated and covered with cum in true racial equality. Inspiring, really.

But what about male roles? Think about it; the only male minorities ever portrayed in porn are black guys. When is the last time you saw a Mexican, or an Indian, or a Korean-American in the male lead in a porno? Is it a conspiracy? Do Indian guys not have dicks? Where is the diversity?

And NOBODY talks about it.

Here is an arena where a social justice campaign would really thrive. Start demanding more racial diversity in porn. Initiate a Twitter campaign. Boycott porn producers who don't hire male minorities.

This is where you can really make a difference.

It all starts with you.



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"A man is suing Grindr because over 1,000 men showed up at his place of business demanding sex. Though in fairness, the man does work at 'Al's House of Crullers and Anonymous Gay Sex.'" -Conan O'Brien

A Guy walks up to an attractive, young woman in a bar and says, "You remind me of my little toe."

She replies, "What's that supposed to mean? Like I'm small and cute or something?"

He says, "No. It means I'll probably bang you on the coffee table later when I'm drunk."

After both suffering depression for year with no end in sight, my wife and I were going to commit suicide yesterday.

But strangely enough, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better, so I thought, fuck it, I'll soldier on!

Last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. As our passion began to heat up she said, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT?! What was that?!"

She said, "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The next day I took off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big department store. I walked around with her as she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to go with her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelry counter where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. She was so excited. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet. I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all Honey, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "Uh, no baby, I don't feel like it." Her face went completely blank as her jaw dropped. I said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.

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