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Thursday, October 26, 2017

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Back in the old days of hard copy porn, you know...the kind we used to buy from the shelf behind the counter at the liquor store, one magazine had to last you for weeks at a time. And as everyone who has ever looked at porn knows, it is not effective for that long.

It is for this exact reason that guys would slowly build a porn box full of old material. This way, a tape or a magazine that you hadn't looked at for a few months or a year could be recycled.

But because of this our tastes in porn remained relatively simple. Most models looked like Barbies. You had the solo layouts, solo layouts with a dildo, guy/girl layouts, guy/guy/girl layouts, guy/girl/girl layouts, and girl/girl layouts. Mostly, the only thing that changed was the scenery.

Now, thanks to the Internet, porn comes in a dazzling variety. Almost anything you can imagine you can find in a two minute search online.

You might think this is a blessing, but really it's sort of a curse. Too much variety leads to desensitization and eventually to dissatisfaction. You have to get weirder and wilder and your attention starts to become fragmented.

For example, just last night I was looking at teenage Asian transexuals, but I'm bored with that already. Tonight I'm thinking about researching middle-aged women who don't shave their armpits.

Where is it going to end?



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"A man from Thailand spent three extra years in an Indonesian prison because of a typo. It turns out he only 'ROPED' a cow." -Jimmy Fallon

"Nice threads, man," commented Donald when his buddy showed up one day in a snappy new suit. "Where'd you pick 'em up?"

Richard beamed. "My wife got them for me. Pretty sharp, huh?"

"I'll say. What was the occasion?"

"Got me," admitted Richard with a cheerful shrug. "I came home from work early the other day and there they were, hanging over the chair in the bedroom."

A couple Thai girls asked me if I wanted to have a three-way with them. They said it would be like winning the lottery.

To my horror they were right. We had 6 matching balls.

A man and woman are at a bar having a few beers. They start talking and soon realize they're both doctors. After an hour, the man says, "Hey, how about if we sleep together tonight? No strings attached."

The woman doctor agrees to it. They go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes into the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes.

At last, she goes into the bedroom and they have sex. Afterward, the man says, "You're a surgeon, aren't you?"

"Yes," says the woman, "how did you know?"

"I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started," he says.

"That makes sense," says the woman. "And you're an anaesthesiologist, aren't you?"

"Yeah, how did you know?" asks the man.

The woman replies, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

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