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Thursday, October 19, 2017

Greetings Laff Lovers,

My wife had a stiff neck for several days. I repeatedly told her to see a quack but she refused. "It'll get better eventually," was her refrain.

On the eighth night of her stiff neck I made love to her because my balls were filling up to the point that my scrotum had sunk to between my knees. In the morning I asked her how her neck was.

"Much better!" she smiled. "Maybe I just needed a little lovin' to release some of those natural endorphins."

I said, "Either that or your head bouncing off the headboard for three minutes did the trick."



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Say: 'eye'
Spell: Map
Say: ...ness

A 12-year-old girl comes home from her first day of sex education at school and immediately goes to find her mother.

"Mom! Is it true that when you get pregnant the baby comes out the same hole the penis goes in?" she asks.

"Yes, that's true Honey," mom answers.

The daughter looks worried, "But won't it knock all my teeth out?"

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

A small West Virginia Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very horny, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem: The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of her species available.

While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed Ed, a part-time redneck intern, responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Ed, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species.

So, the park administrators thought they might have a solution. Ed was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $100?

Ed showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Ed announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions.

"First," he said, "I don't wanna have to kiss the gorilla."

"Second, you can't never tell no one 'bout this."

The park administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.

Ed stated, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the hundred bucks."

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