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Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Good morning crew,

What's the luck? Somehow I managed to get sick. I spend all weekend running around like a maniac and I'm healthy as a horse. But two days sober and in bed by ten and suddenly I have some kind of upper respiratory infection.

I don't think the clean life agrees with me.

Well, it better not last long. There are two more local Oktoberfests coming up this weekend that I don't plan on missing.

Laugh it up,


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"I read that white giraffes were just caught on video for the first time ever. Researchers knew that they were white, cuz they were drinking pumpkin spice lattes." -Jimmy Fallon


"The Italian restaurant chain 'Villa Italian Kitchen' is adding a new pumpkin spice pizza to its menu. And if you like that, you're gonna love Starbucks' new Linguini Mocha." -Seth Meyers


"More people have died taking selfies than have been killed by sharks. My policy is, you should treat selfies like you treat drinking. Try not to do it alone, definitely don't do it while you're driving, and if you take more than two or three a day, you should probably seek help." -James Corden


I tried to explain to a client why I couldn't help him with a project that was written in a program code that I didn't know.

"Let's say you're asking me to write something in a specific language. Now, I'm fluent in English and Spanish, but your project is in Chinese. Since I don't understand Chinese, I'm not your best option. You need someone who is fluent in this specific language. See?"

He said he did and thanked me.

The next morning, I got a call from another developer asking, "Why is So-and-So asking us if we're fluent in Chinese?"

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

Today marks the 35th anniversary of the death of Sir Douglas Bader and I couldn't let it pass without this story about the Royal Air Force hero. He was giving a talk at an upmarket girl's school about his time as a pilot in the Second World War. "So there were two of the f***ers behind me, three f***ers to my right, and another f***er on the left," he told the audience.

The headmistress went pale and interjected: "Ladies, the Fokker was a German aircraft."

Sir Douglas replied, "That is true, madam, but these f***ers were in Messerschmitts."

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