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July 24, 2017

Good Morning Groanies,

10dollarsWeddings can be stressful, overly-elaborate, and awkward. Thankfully, my brother's wedding was tons of fun, with just a sprinkle of stress.

The stress comes from the fact that I was the best man, Stacy was a bridesmaid, and Jack and Sean were the ring bearers. Lots of duties. Lots of tuxes. Lots of flowers. And lots of photos.

Once our duties were was party time! We danced like no one was watching. We ate. We drank (the boys had water). We laughed. We had so much fun! It should be illegal to have that much fun. But, boy, did I pay for it.

I think I danced to all but 5 songs. It's been over a week since the wedding and I'm still sore.

It was a great. My brother looked handsome. His bride was absolutely beautiful. They were so happy, smiling ear to ear. I couldn't be happier for them. It was wonderful.

And as the best man, I had a speech to give. I wanted to make sure that I kept things fun and sweet, all the while giving my brother the business. Mission accomplshed!

I even welcomed my sister-in-law to the family with a little Chinese. My sister-in-law is Chinese and I wanted to make an effort to learn the language of her homeland. When I said, "Welcome to the family," in Chinese during my speech she let out an audible, "What?!" It got a huge laugh, especially from me. It was great. She was very touched.

I've been to quite a few weddings, but this was one for the books. I hope that their marriage is as fun, exciting, and loving as their wedding was.

Groaningly yours,

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A: Never mind, it really stinks.

Q: Have you heard the one about the germ?

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*-- I Raise Sea Cows --*

There was a man in Florida who raised "sea cows" or manatees.

He soon had so many of them that he stopped giving them names and just assigned them letters of the alphabet. A, B, C, etc. He let them all swim free in the lagoon beside his house. Except for "U", which he kept in a special pen.

I guess he was afraid of losing his "u" manatee.

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Q: What do you think of Flushing, NY?

A: I think it's a great idea.

Q: How do you know when you're staying in an Alabama hotel?

A: When you call the front desk and say, "I've gotta leak in my sink", and the person at the desk says, "go ahead."

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