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July 05, 2017

Good Morning Groanies,

10dollarsSince it's been so hot this week my ol' noodle has come up with a few ingenious ways to keep cool and avoid all of the fun that comes with practically combusting... spontaneously.

1. Fill your bathtub up with ice cubes and frost from the freezer, jump in, and play 'Defrosting Caveman.'

2. Cover your naked body in ice cream sandwiches. (Simple, Delicious, and, in many instances, Sexy!)

3. Spend a little time in a meat locker and if anybody asks you what you're doing there just ask them, "Where's the Beef?" or just start punching the sides of beef like Rocky. (Great for keeping cool and getting into shape.)

All good ideas, according to me. Just beat the heat and stay cool, Cats and Kittens.

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do snakes put on their kitchen floors?

A: Rep-tiles.

Q: Why was the broom late?

A: Because it overswept!
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*-- The Best Fish and Chips --*

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbled across a monastery and requests shelter there.

Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she had ever tasted.

After dinner, she went into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She was met by two of the Brothers.

The first one says, "Hello, I am brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles."

"I'm very pleased to meet you," replies the nun. "I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever had. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"

Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."

She turned to the other Brother and says "then you must be....?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I'm the chip monk."

*-- More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Where would you look when purchasing felines via mail order?

A: In a Cat-a-log.

Q: What kind of school does a carpenter go to?

A: Boarding school.

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