Powered By
May 31, 2017

Good Morning Groanies,

10dollarsI could not sleep last night. No matter what I did I couldn't get tired enough to fall asleep. I think it might have had something to do with the three pots of coffee that I drank in the morning.

I read a book, I watched TV, I played video games, I washed the dishes, I cleaned the bathroom, I did the laundry, I trimmed my ear hair, I made a sandwich, I ate the sandwich I made, and then I finally fell asleep. The only problem was by the time I dozed off it was time to get ready for work.

Both time and caffeine can be cruel.

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Don't Juggle This Up --*

Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer.

"I juggle them in my act."

"Oh yeah?" says the cop. "Let's see you do it." So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives.

A guy driving by sees this and says, "Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're making you do now!"
Learn more about RevenueStripe...

*-- Now That's Really Sick --*

An employee who had a terrible history for taking time off phoned in again one Monday morning: "I'm sorry, but I'll not be able to come in today as I'm too sick."

On hearing this his exasperated boss could barely conceal his anger and retorted in a rage: "Well, just how sick are you?"

"Well" the employee sighed, "I'm in bed with my sister!"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Which knight summons you to court?

A: Sir Pena.

Q: Which knight invented the round table?

A: Sir Cumference.

Top Viewed Issues