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Saturday, April 29, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A famous playwright (who wasn't quite famous enough for me to remember his name) once wrote, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." And he wasn't kidding.

Police in Oklahoma say a woman flew into a rage upon seeing her boyfriend's lover at a funeral home during a ceremony. 25-year-old Shaynna Lauren Sims is then alleged to have cut body parts from the 38-year-old woman.

Fortunately for the victim, she was deceased.

According to the police investigation, the 38-year-old victim who dated the suspect's boyfriend, died of natural causes. During the funeral the victim's family members noticed that the body had been vandalized. The body had numerous cuts, hair had been missing, and body parts were missing, including the woman's breasts.

Police were called to the scene, and family members told officers that they saw Sims standing next to the casket with her hands inside. When police arrested Sims, she was in possession of a knife that contained traces of the victim's hair.

Sims has been charged with vandalizing a corpse, burglary and illegal dissection. Her bail has been set at $20,000.


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*------- Yakety Yak (Don't Smuggle That) -------*

Smugglers were trying to bring illegal yak meat and dung into the United States, hidden in sweaters. U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) announced the seizure and destruction of a shipment of over 132 kilos of prohibited yak meat, dung pods, and seeds for propagation imported from Nepal at New York's JFK Airport. The prohibited items were hidden in sweaters, shawls, pants, and other items of clothing. Yak meat is prohibited from being imported into the United States from countries affected by foot-and-mouth disease, such as Nepal. The shipment was initially identified by the Commercial Targeting and Analysis Center based on a tip from the public. I guess it's pretty hard to hide that yak dung smell.


*--------------- Xylophone Rage ---------------*

Let's face it; there are some things that are just annoying as hell. Xylophones are one of them. So it's not too surprising that a Florida woman attacked her boyfriend when he refused to stop playing a xylophone. According to investigators, 43-year-old April Encarnacion was arrested on a domestic battery charge after police responded to a 911 call in Fort Walton Beach. Police say Encarnacion was in the kitchen with the male victim, who was playing a xylophone around 9:20 PM. When Encarnacion asked him to stop, the man refused. That was when Encarnacion "dumped a pot of cold cooking grease on him," according to a court filing. Encarnacion is being held in lieu of $3000 bond. Totally worth it.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Seriously, Lewis? You think "we're destroying the Earth with greenhouse gases". Apparently you've been led astray by the overwhelming physical evidence and all the scientists and experts instead of listening to your politicians who have nothing but your best interest in mind. -Don
[I can't tell if this comment is pro or con the global warming idea.]

Lewis – Thank you for perpetuating ignorant junk science propaganda. Any "honest" climatologist will admit that high CO2 levels are lagging indicators of global warming, not leading indicators. The problem is that there is so much money involved now with "Climate Change", dishonest science practitioners are motivated by grants to perpetuate the specter man destroying the "fragile" Earth. -Jerry

Going into a burning building to retrieve two cans of Bud Ice does not warrant being arrested, it warrants a 72-hour psychiatric hold. Dragon's Milk Bourbon Barrel Stout is another matter entirely. (let the beer brand wars begin...)
[I have to admit, I'm not much of a drinker, and when I do indulge it's usually wine, so the readers can hash this one out between themselves.]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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