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Classic Laff-a-Day - March 18, 2010 ------------------------------------------------------------ Greetings Laff Lovers, The last month or so Clean Laffs Joe has been grooming a scraggly beard. It's finally grown out enough to where he doesn't look like a child molester anymore. Unfortunately now he looks like a reject from a 70s porno. Personally I like to maintain a well-groomed goatee. I think it makes me look distinguished, but even so I couldn't sit idly by and let Joe embarrass himself like that. "Joe," I said, "I know you're going for the whole Marlboro Man look, but the truth is you really look like the cop from the Village People. Why don't you groom yourself a little bit? You know, do a little manscaping so you don't look like the Unabomber." "I'm trying to look like a cowboy, TZ," he replied, "not like a pussy, like you." "It's funny you should say that," I told him, "since your face looks like an Indian woman's poonani." Metrosexually, TZ "Get this," said one drinker to his friends at the bar, "Last night while I was here with you guys, a burglar broke into my house. "Did he get anything?" his friends asked. "yeah, a broken jaw, two teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken nuts. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk." When I checked into my motel, I asked the lady at the desk: "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." "No," she said, "it's regular porn, you sick bastard." [Thanks to twisted Laffaday reader Charles Starks.] "Yesterday was Groundhog Day. In fact, when the groundhog came out of his hole, he didn't even look for his shadow, he just said he was walking away from his mortgage." -Jay Leno The Finest Hours DVD...Rare WWII archive footage "A new study found that eating corned beef for breakfast could help you lose weight. That doesn't sound like a study, that sounds like something a guy who eats corned beef for breakfast says." -Jimmy Fallon "Here is something pretty unbelievable. The only living World War I veteran, a man named Frank Buckles just turned 109 years old. What's even more amazing, he just finished his fourth tour in Afghanistan." -Jay Leno A new couple were making love in the dunes. When they were done he said, "How lucky for us that you brought a condom with you." She said, "We're even luckier than you think because I found it here in the sand." P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the new Classic Laffaday forum. Check it out here... ************************************************************ YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR Top Viewed Videos... 1. Colorful World 2. One For The Money, Two for the Show… 3. The Funny Rodney Dangerfield 4. A Cat with A Drinking Problem? 5. Women in Film 6. Learn How To Protect Your Identity

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