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Classic Laff-a-Day - March 18, 2010 ------------------------------------------------------------ Greetings Laff Lovers, "I don't understand the conflict in the scientific and religious communities regarding Creationism vs. Evolution," I said to a group of visiting clients over lunch. "I mean, whether God created us via intelligent design or monkey's fucking--we are still His creation." "Um, yes, I guess," said one suit. "I think the contra- diction comes in through the story of Adam and Eve..." "No problem," I interrupted. "If you are an evolutionist, then the story of Adam and Eve becomes a parable, which, by the way, is a popular method God employs when trying to teach us something. And if you are a creationist then you can take it literally. Either way, the only way to find out for certain is to die, so I'm in no hurry to know." "Who is this moro...guy?" one of the dickheads asked Magilla. "He's buying," Magilla replied. "Oh, I see, um, thank you. Interesting ideas..." Simply, TZ "An employee at a Taco Bell in Alaska was sentenced to one day in jail for throwing a taco at his manager. He'll spend the whole day pleading with fellow inmates to think outside the buns." -Jimmy Fallon A five-year-old boy was mowing his front lawn and drinking a beer. The preacher who lived across the street saw the beer and came over to harass the kid. "Aren't you a little young to be drinking, son?" he asked. "That's nothing," the kid said after taking a swig of beer. "I got laid when I was three." "What? How did that happen?" "I don't remember. I was drunk." The Shirt Safe lets you hide your valuables in plain sight "This week in New York, police arrested a man who tried to steal 43 sticks of underarm deodorant from a drugstore. The man is being described as 'not European.'" -Conan O'Brien A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says. A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered." The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. "Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!" "That must've been scary," said the teacher. "It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF," but before she could say 'Fuck!' the Rottweiler ate her!" P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the new Classic Laffaday forum. Check it out here... ************************************************************ YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR Top Viewed Videos... 1. Alfred Hitchcock Montage 2. I Could Get Used To This 3. What a Wonderful World It Would Be 4. A Cat with A Drinking Problem? 5. Learn How To Protect Your Identity 6. Funny Office Prank

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