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Classic Laff-a-Day - June 22, 2010 ------------------------------------------------------------ Greetings Laff Lovers, I came across a very funny page today that had a collection of pics of homeless guys with hilarious signs. And if you can't make fun of homeless guys, who can you make fun of? Having nothing better to do I transcribed some of the funnier ones for you right here. "Father was killed my ninjas. Need money for karate lessons." "16 wives, 7, hungry dogs, 3 thin cats, 25 kids and still horny. Please help with loose change." "Will code html for food." "Will eat for food." "Need cash for alcohol research." "Saving up for a hooker." "Time traveler needs money for new flux capacitor." "I'm like Obama, I want change." "Sorry, I'm blind. Can I feel your tits?" "My wife has been kidnapped. I'm short 99 cents for ransom." Solicitingly, TZ Not only is this cool, it is exceptional too... 4 in 1 Safety Light List Price: $9.99 DEAL PRICE: $4.99 (50% off) Get two for $7.98 (60% off) Here's a must have for any vehicle to have in any emergency. This compact safety flexible flashlight has 3 LED lights, a 4 LED flashing red light bar and a high-pitched alarm sound, making it perfect for all around use. SO MANY FEATURES... - Three (3) LED Lights - Four (4) LED Flashing Red Light Bar - High Pitched Alarm (easily activated) - Magnetic End (great for attaching it to any metal surface like your car in an Emergency) You'll love the rubber finger-grip and magnetic feet so it can be placed on any metal surface. Measurements are 5 x 2 and uses 3 AAA batteries (not included). Get one for $4.99 or save an additional $2.00 and get two for $7.98 by visiting: "Here's good news: For the first time in 30 years, American children have improved their reading scores. Now they can read English almost as well as Chinese children." -Jimmy Fallon A woman walked into my aunt's animal shelter wanting to have her cat and six kittens spayed and neutered. "Is the mother friendly?" my aunt asked. "Very," said the woman, casting an eye on the pet carriers. "That's how we got into this mess in the first place." Victory At Sea - 26 Original Episodes, Digitally Restored... $9.99...= "President Obama had a date with his wife last night. There were pictures of them leaving, pictures of them going to the restaurant, and a picture of a jealous Oprah standing outside the White House with a large knife. Hell hath no fury like an Oprah scorned." -Jimmy Kimmel Arm Rest Organizer w/ Table-Top Organize & Store All Your Favorite TV Accessories, & More... List Price: $24.99 DEAL PRICE: $14.99 Get Two for: $23.98 Organize your magazines, remote controls, eye glasses, telephone and more with this handy Arm Rest Organizer. This is a true family room organizer that stores all that stuff that sits on your end tables in one convenient location. Now you'll always know right where your cross-word puzzle is. The Arm Rest Organizer also features a tray for a beverage or a snack. FEATURES: - Fits over sofa arm for easy installation - 6 large pockets - Large Table-Top (18" x 7") surface perfect for snacks, writing notes & more - Adjustable design fits most arm rest on couches or chairs - Color: Black The Arm Rest Organizer features a durable black fabric. One side of the organizer features two large pockets, while the other side has one large pocket for magazines and three smaller pockets for pens, glasses and remotes. The flat surface in the center features a ridge around the edge to keep items from sliding off, and makes a great snack or writing table. One of our female members, who shall remain nameless, took a vacation to France some years ago with one of her girl- friends. Her husband drove her to the airport and wished her a good trip. The wife asked, "Would you like me to bring something back for you?" The husband laughed and says, "How about a French girl!" Our lady kept quiet, didn't respond and went into the terminal. Two weeks later her husband picked her up at the airport and asked, "So, honey, how was the trip?" "Really great, I loved Paris." "And, what happened to my present?" "Which present?" "What I asked for....the French girl?" "Oh, that? Well, I did what I could, now we'll have to wait nine months to see if it's a girl." P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the new Classic Laffaday forum. Check it out here... ************************************************************ YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR Top Viewed Videos... 1. How To Choose Your Baby’s Gender 2. Amos N´ Andy - In the IRS Office 3. Celebrities: Before and After Make-Up 4. Day of the Kamikaze 5. Arial Footage Of Gulf Oil Spill 6. Man's Best Friend

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