Classic Laff-a-Day - May 25, 2010
http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
There has been a rash of, how should I say it, inappropriate
touching going around the office lately. Ear-flicking, pony-
tail-pulling and goosing, for example.
One of the girls started complaining to no one in particular
that if this kind of behavior doesn't stop she is going to
have to ask Magilla the ape-boss to institute some conduct
policies.
Hearing this I walked up behind her chair, began caressing
her shoulders and said, "I wouldn't bother. I'm the company
sensitivity counselor."
Understandingly,
TZ
mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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When to Propose... Or Not
Men who can answer "yes" to five or more of these questions
should consider carefully before proposing marriage.
* In the kitchen, has she ever referred to an oven as "that
square thing?"
* Does she use the phrase "you know" more than twice per
sentence?
* Is she making monthly payments of more than $300 to a
plastic surgeon.
* Have you noticed her name tattoed on three or more local
bikers?
* Have you noticed three or more local bikers' names tattooed
on her?
* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to an
old boyfriend's?
* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to the
Green Bay Packers?
* Does she have a wholesale source for Deodorant-in-a-Drum?
* Has she ever used the word poo-poo?
* If forced to use it at all, does she choose to spell the
word sex?
* Does her resume include a six-year stint at Big Leg Emma's
House of Painful Delights?
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When to Accept a Proposal... Or Not..
Women who can answer "yes" to five or more of these questions
should consider carefully before accepting a proposal of
marriage.
* On his first date with you, did he pick you up early so you
could help with his laundry?
* To reach him in an emergency, would anyone think to call the
local adult bookstore?
* Has he ever bragged about seeing every episode of "Gilligan's
Island" at least four times?
* Is it unclear to some people whether that's a mustache or
just a lot of unruly nose hair?
* Is his idea of a classy restaurant one where every table has
its own stack of ketchup packets?
* Does his car get more than sixty miles per gallon?
* Does the label on his deodorant include the phrase "Industrial
Strength?"
* Has he memorized the telephone number of at least one bail-
bondsman?
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
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http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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