Victory At Sea - 26 Original Episodes, Digitally Restored... $9.99...
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July 28, 2010

WOMAN WITH CANCER SHOULDN'T WASTE TIME ON HATEFUL MOM

DEAR ABBY: My 89-year-old mother has always been difficult.
She not only never loved me, she treated me as if she didn't
like me, either. She told me she didn't send me a birthday
card on my birthday last month because "What was it supposed
to say -- what a 'wonderful' person you are?" My children
visibly winced when they heard her say it and worked extra-
hard to make sure my day was special.

Abby, I have cancer. My prognosis is questionable. I was
supposed to have been dead seven years ago -- but I'm man-
aging. My problem is, I recently was told that my mother has
been keeping in touch with a single friend of mine from years
ago, and they are making plans for her to marry my husband
when I die! A few other so-called "friends" are in on this.
This last betrayal is incredibly hurtful. Where do I go from
here?
-- J.C. IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR J.C.: Where do you go from here? As far away from your
toxic mother as possible -- and on to a long, and hopefully
complete, remission!


DEAR ABBY: My daughter and 12-year-old grandson "Patrick"
visit me on Sundays. Patrick watches TV in my office.

I was recently looking at the history on my Web browser after
he had been there, and I noticed that Patrick had been vis-
iting free porn sites and chat rooms on my computer.

I am disappointed that he has been looking at pornography and
that he has put my computer at risk for viruses, etc. Should
I talk to his parents? To him? Or should I ignore it and dis-
able my computer when he visits?
-- GRANDMA ON ALERT

DEAR GRANDMA: You should do all three -- so that Patrick's
parents can make certain that when he uses a computer at home
he can be supervised. And if the parents haven't yet had "the
talk" with their son, suggest they place it at the top of
their agenda.


DEAR ABBY: I am 20, newly married and very happy with my new
husband. I didn't tell my father when I got married; he just
found out. When I moved out four months ago to live with my
fiance and his parents, I also didn't tell Dad I was engaged.

Dad called me to ask if it was true that I had gotten mar-
ried. Of course I said yes, and he got very angry. He asked
if I was pregnant and I told him no. Then he wished me luck
with my husband, said we were on our own now, and he would
be out of my life!

Abby, I have always been a daddy's girl. When it came time
to get married, I didn't tell him because I knew he'd try to
stop me. I love my father and don't want him out of my life.
What should I do?
-- NEWLYWED IN JACKSON, MICH.

DEAR NEWLYWED: Your father was extremely hurt by what you
did. When a father loves his daughter, he looks forward to
the day he will proudly walk her down the aisle, knowing the
man she is marrying will be a stable partner. When you
sneaked off, you took that away from him. He may also be up-
set that the young man you married isn't financially inde-
pendent.

You owe your dad an apology. Write him a letter, explain why
you did what you did and that you love him. It's a step in
the right direction.



For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order
"How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-
addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S.
funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447,
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price.)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box
69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.