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Nov. 16, 2009

WIFE DRAWS LINE IN BEDROOM IN BATTLE OVER MAN'S SMOKING

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 25 years, in an effort to get me to
stop smoking, refuses to have sex until I quit. It's been
more than a year since we made love.

I love my wife with all my heart, and I always will. I plan
to stop smoking, but not this way. She will not give in (or
give out). I don't want to think of sex as her weapon, but
it is. Any advice on how to cope with my unwinnable battle?
-- DESPERATE IN ARLINGTON, TEXAS

DEAR DESPERATE: Yes. You mentioned you plan to quit smoking,
so why not start now? The letter below could have been
written expressly for you. Once you no longer reek of stale
tobacco, your wife may rediscover her passion and both your
problems will be solved. Read on:

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DEAR ABBY: On Thursday, Nov. 19, 2009, the American Cancer
Society is celebrating the 34th Great American Smokeout, and
we want to encourage your readers who smoke to quit. Re-
search shows that smokers who quit can significantly increase
their life expectancy.

A smoker who quits at age 35 gains an average of eight years
of life expectancy. A person who quits at 55 gains five more
birthdays to spend with loved ones.

Smokers who stop before age 50 cut their risk of dying in the
next 15 years in half compared with people who continue to
smoke. Ten years after quitting, the lung cancer death rate
is about half of that of someone who continues.

Quitting smoking is not easy. People often have to try sev-
eral times before they are successful. But the American
Cancer Society is here to help. We have been making great
progress in this country when it comes to people getting the
message about not smoking -- in fact, adult cigarette smoking
declined to 19.8 percent in 2007.

Smokers who want to quit can call the society's Quit for Life
program operated and managed by Free & Clear at
(800) 227-2345 to speak with trained counselors who can help
them develop a quit plan and set a quit date. The American
Cancer Society and Free & Clear have helped a total of
1 million tobacco users in their attempt to quit smoking.

As the official sponsor of birthdays, the American Cancer
Society is fighting for every birthday that's threatened by
cancer in all communities. We hope you will join us in our
movement to create a world with less cancer and more birth-
days by sharing the message that the Great American Smokeout
is the PERFECT day to make a plan to quit or to use as a
quit date. Quitting smoking is one of the most important
steps anyone can take to create a world with more birthdays.
-- ALAN G. THORSON, M.D.,
NATIONAL VOLUNTEER PRESIDENT,
AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY

DEAR DR. THORSON AND DEAR READERS: I am pleased to once
again spread the word about the Great American Smokeout,
a subject that has appeared in this column many times.
Tobacco use remains the single largest preventable cause
of death in the U.S., and one-third of all cancer deaths
could be prevented if people simply avoided tobacco.

The Great American Smokeout Web site
( class="abbylink">www.cancer.org/GreatAmericans)
contains user-friendly tips and tools to help smokers
quit and remain smoke-free. Quitting is the most precious
gift you can give yourself and the people who love you.
The Countdown Clock and Craving Stopper downloadable desktop
applications are two of the free resources available to help
you on the path toward quitting. Good luck!



What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting
along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should
Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed
envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to:
Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL
61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write Dear Abby at
T="_new" class="abbylink">www.DearAbby.com
or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.