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Feb. 22, 2010
TEEN WITH DIABETES CAN HAVE AN OCCASIONAL TREAT
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have two children, ages 13 and 6.
Our older son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes last year.
Because of this, we must carefully watch everything he eats.
We're struggling to deal with it, but lately we have other
issues we need help with.
We were out one evening and our younger son wanted ice cream.
My husband told him he couldn't have any because it would be
unfair to his brother. I, in turn, said that it's not fair to
punish the younger one. This has become a huge deal for us
lately. Can you tell us who is right, and what's the best
way to handle this?
-- TRYING TO BE FAIR IN HAWAII
DEAR TRYING TO BE FAIR: This is something you should discuss
with your older son's doctor. It is my understanding that
years ago, diabetes was treated more with diet. But with the
advent of glucose meters and better insulin, most people
with Type 1 diabetes, while trying to eat healthfully, do
not completely deprive themselves of treats but accommodate
them by adjusting their level of insulin. If your husband
refuses to budge on the "treats" issue, then your younger
child should be given something else to compensate.
The American Diabetes Association offers a free kit that
can be sent to you. It can be ordered by calling
1-800-342-2383 or logging onto
s="abbylink">www.diabetes.org/families.
The kit contains a parents' guide, a card game for your
kids, a paperback book, "The Diabetes Dictionary: What
Every Person With Diabetes Needs to Know," and more.
If you haven't already done so, please contact the ADA. It
will be a terrific resource for you, your husband and your
son in managing his diabetes, as well as keeping peace in
your household.
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DEAR ABBY: My wife and I threw a party for which we hired
a bartender, so we could spend more time with our guests.
We figured that, in addition to his hourly rate, we would
tip him at the end of the night. Without consulting us, the
man placed a plastic cup out for our guests to tip him. My
wife was appalled and demanded that he remove it. He
actually argued with her, but finally put the tip cup away.
My wife and I asked friends to weigh in on the subject. The
men had no problem with the practice, while every woman
found it offensive. Were we too harsh? Should a bartender at
a private, in-home party be allowed to solicit tips from the
guests?
-- BAR NONE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
DEAR BAR NONE: Absolutely not! When you hired this person,
all the details should have been agreed to in advance -- and
if the compensation your bartender was being offered wasn't
satisfactory, he should have refused the job.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married six years and
have two wonderful children. Lately, my mother-in-law has
made several comments in front of family members suggesting
that one of our kids bears no resemblance to my husband --
implying that I have been unfaithful.
At first, I took it as a joke. Now I'm wondering if she
really believes it. My husband isn't concerned, but I wonder
if I should set her straight. What would you suggest?
-- NO LAUGHING MATTER
DEAR N.L.M.: I would suggest you set your mother-in-law
straight. To say that her remarks are tasteless is an under-
statement. Either she has a warped sense of humor or she has
been watching too many soap operas. Talk with her privately
and, if necessary, offer to have both your children DNA-
tested to prove their "authenticity." That may be the only
way to stop her snide remarks once and for all.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The
Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send
a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or
money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger
Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage
is included in the price.)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write Dear Abby at
T="_new" class="abbylink">www.DearAbby.com
or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.