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Jan. 26, 2009
TEEN EMBARRASSMENTS TURN INTO FOND MEMORIES LATER
DEAR ABBY: I had to respond to "Blushing in San Francisco"
(Nov. 21), the 11-year-old girl who's embarrassed because her
mother sings and dances in the mall. I was that mother a few
years ago.
My daughter and I shopped in trendy stores where the music
was really loud, and when she saw me bob my head and move to
the music, she would shake her head "no." I'd do it again --
just to torture her. As she tried on clothes, she would pop
out and say, "Have you been dancing again? This is a no-
dancing zone!" We laugh about it now.
When I teach, I tell my students what I did. They tell me
unanimously that they would die if I were their mom -- to
which I respond that it's my job to make them miserable.
As the Bee Gees sang, "You should be daaaancin', yeah!"
-- STILL DANCING IN GRANITE CITY, ILL.
DEAR STILL DANCING: Your letter was among hundreds I received
pointing out that "Blushing in San Francisco's" dilemma is
universal. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: My husband is a contractor, and his office is in
our home. He enjoys playing music while he works, and we
often hear him singing happily along.
One evening when my daughter was 11, she had some friends
over and was trying her best to ignore the fact that her dad
was singing while he worked, and hoping her friends wouldn't
notice. All went well until Shania Twain came on and he
started singing along to "Man! I Feel Like a Woman!"
We all laughed hysterically, and it's still one of our fav-
orite memories. My daughter saw that her dad could laugh at
himself, and that her friends enjoyed the humor without
losing respect for him.
Not to take oneself too seriously was the lesson learned.
It's one we all need reminding about occasionally.
-- STILL LAUGHING IN SAN JOSE
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DEAR ABBY: When my daughter was about 8, I was walking her
to the door of her school and thought I'd have some fun
with her, so I started acting like a cross between the
Hunchback of Notre Dame, Dracula and the Mummy. When I asked
if I was embarrassing her, she responded: "Why would I be
embarrassed? You're the one acting silly!" I immediately
stopped because she was right. What she understood at her
tender age was that you can only be responsible for your own
actions.
-- MOM IN HAMILTON, ONTARIO, CANADA
DEAR ABBY: My advice to "Blushing" is to enjoy her mother
while she has her. When I was in my teens, my dad mortified
me with his dancing whenever we went to the grocery store.
While pushing his shopping cart, Dad would bebop up and down
the aisles. As an adolescent, it embarrassed me to no end.
I look back now and regard my father's dancing fondly --
mainly because I have two delightful small children who in-
herited their grandfather's love of dancing. When I see them
"perform," I know my dad is looking down from heaven and
chuckling, too.
-- PROUD MOM IN GEORGIA
DEAR ABBY: I was embarrassed every time I went to the mall
with my mom because she'd usually burst into show tunes be-
fore we got out of the parking lot.
I am now 40, and I sing in parking lots, too. I finally
understand that the most valuable lesson my mother ever
taught me was to let that song in my heart out and not care
what anybody else thinks. It's empowering, and "Blushing"
should give it a try.
-- SECOND-GENERATION SINGER
DEAR SINGER: One of these days, try it in a parking struc-
ture. The acoustics are as good as any you'll find in a
recording studio.
-- LA-LA IN L.A. aka DEAR ABBY
For everything you need to know about wedding planning,
order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized,
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